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male
,
anonymous
writes: I need some help and encouragement. I met up with some friends today for dinner, and while we were chatting, I had the most amazingly sad feeling come over me. It only hit me now, and seeing my friends talking about their plans and what they've been doing, I realized that I hate what I do, but pretend to be happy to keep everyone else happy.I hate what I'm doing with my life, my work. I hate waking up in the morning, and I dread going to work. I'm sending this email now, and thinking, "oh heavens, do I have to go in tomorrow?", and it has been like that for two years.My problem is I work with my father, and the store was bought for the two of us.I've been pretending to be happy without even realising it, only to please him.How do I build up the courage to face him, and tell him that I'm not happy, and that I want to do other things travel, be young.He wants me to be successful and beat everyone else and seems to forget what I want. Now I'm paying the price by waking up every morning hating it.I know he'll be very angry with me, maybe not talk with me anymore.But I can't wake up hating my life any longer...when I confront him he says that I'm stupid if I ever throw away my opportunity, so that one day I can be a big high status person.What can I do?? Am I being stupid?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2006): It sounds to me like your dad has a problem with his self esteem and regrets choices he has made in his life, thus telling you what a mistake it would be......is he talking from a similar experience maybe?
You've been doing this for two years and are still not getting the satisfaction, hunger and drive that you need, maybe sugest may alterations to your work load, place or type of tasks you perform. What may be helpful is to make lists of what you like and dislike about it, why you like/dslike it, what would make you happier, how and where would comprimise etc. Once you have really thought about it try to schedule a meeting or have time where the two of you can sit down and talk rationly, shouting and arguing doesn't solve anything. Make sure you say what you like/enjoy and when informing him about your dislikes mention what changes would/could make a difference to your feelings.
Tell him (don't ask) that you need time off to take a holiday/break.
Seek advice from job agencies about what careers are suitable to you and then be honest about whether you believe, in your heart, a career change really would make you happier. Think about what would be your ideal proffession and work towards it if you manage to break free.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
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