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writes: If the bad times outweigh the good, if there is more arguing and fighting than anything else should a couple stay together? We have two kids and I love my partner more than anything but I can't take much more of the emotional abuse!!
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female
reader, Me and Him  +, writes (14 October 2009):
Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year and a half now, we have a baby thats 5 months old, all we ever do is fight, but i love him too much to give up on us. The question is "do you love him enough to work at it?" And if your answer to that is yes then i dont see why yous should break up?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): i am struggling with this question myself - i have been married for 15 yrs and have 2 lovely kids. however recently all we do is argue and the kids get upset. i try to keep things from the kids but my husband likes to draw them into the argument. i love my kids more than anything else in the world. i don't want them upset so i will stay put for their sake. however i am so desperately unhappy and cry myself to sleep most nights.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Well, about 2 years later and things are great!! We are still together and are really happy. I did persist, we did argue heaps and at times I was extremely low!!!!!! But, things did get better....eventually. All I can say is that if you do love someone and want it to work you have to try and work things out. Obviously different situations mean that it isn't always worth it but, the only one that can determine that is yourself. Take care everyone, look after yourself before anyone else!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): hi mate me and my boyfriend have been together for a year everything was ok at the start but now we fight alot so one night i sat him down and we talk about what we should do we are no longer together. think about what you want and whats best for you and your kids only you no if staying with him is going to make you happy. one more thing love isn't everything unless your happy. i hope you sort things out in your head. take care.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): look deep inside yourself and ask the qestion why is this happening. do i really care enough to carry on.if you do care enough then workout the best way to help yourselves. counselling for couples ect. if you don't care enough then its best to find the strenght to move on
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): Not sure where to start, my partner has just moved out last Mon. We row a lot, we are both very stubborn and pig-headed. I start a row and he walks out, which leads to me telling him not to come back. So he is at his mums at the moment. He has moved out 3 times in 4 months now. He makes me very angry, we dont listen to each other in a row, thats a problem. We just get angry. But I love him very much. Help . He is now looking to rent a house elsewhere. This seems final, but i love him, but cant seem to live with him. Previous to meeting him, I lived on my own with my 5 yr old son for 2and half years.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): i am in the same exact situation you are in...i love my boyfriend with all my heart and he treats me like shit....i am a victim of emotional abuse, but i still want to be with him more than anything. the advise that i have been given is to tell its over, that you cant be treated like this anymore, and if he truly loves you and wants to be with you, he will do everything he can in his power to treat you better.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2007): i have the same problem with my boyfriend we are always arguing and fighting and i've had enough, he doesn't show thanks to me in matter what i do, i cook for him i clean and wash his clothes. i get that i'm dumb and stupid...... we argue like cats and dogs most days and then it's fine for a couple of weeks then arguing again....... he never says he loves me or hold hands when we are walking, he is so lazy in bed he is about to loose me and i'm about to walk out of his life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2006): I think that if its verbal abuse, it can be sorted. My boyfriend and I are the same way...we say things to hurt each other, even if we dont mean it, we just say the worst possible thing we can....but always regret it afterwards....arguments go deeper than this....you need to find out why you want to hurt each other in the first place. Stop doing the things that make each other angry, like going to the pub, being around ex's etc. or at least realise where the problem begins.
If you can both control your fists...and it sounds like you can, then surely you can control your tongues too....just try not to blame each other for your arguments and agree thats its both your doing.
I believe that any relationship is worth saving.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): If you have tried to discuss the issue amongst yourselves and still can't get anywhere perhaps coulples councelling is a good idea if you really aren't prepared to give up on the relationship yet and still love each other. I think give it a go, but if the councelling doesn't help than i'd say seperate or end it all together. There are only so mant chances you can give a person, and if he did really love, respect and deserve you than he'd do something about it. You have ro take responsability for your own actions, but so has he. if he doeasn't- forget it, you're flogging a dead horse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2005): I believe that if two people really love each other and are both prepared to work on problem areas in a relationship because they want to salvage it and make it better, then perhaps some relationship councelling could help. However if the relationship is one where the love has been so abused that it is now no longer there at all perhaps it is time to call it quits for your own sakes but most importantly for the future safety, happiness and welfare of your children. The children will always are the future and as such we need to protect them and nurture them not subject them to a torrent of abbusive behaviour.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2005): Normally if the bad outweighs the good, a relationship isn't worth persisting with. You say emotional abuse but this depends on what you mean. Is he abusive to you verbally and are you that way back to him? Sometimes two people can love each other but just can't seem to live together but you can work on the relationship if you feel you don't want to lose it.Perhaps you are bringing out the worst in each other and you need to discuss ways and means of tackling the issues you obviously both have.Sit down together and give each other half an hour of uninterrupted time to discuss all that is on your mind. Once each of you have had your say, then discuss ways of overcoming the problems.Perhaps a third party might be able to help here. Have you considered relationship counselling?You need to stop an argument before it develops, nip it in the bud and the only way you can do this is by discussing how a row escalates out of control. What triggers you to have a go? What makes him retalliate and vice versa?What does he want from this relationship? Has he had enough of all the fighting? Are the kids affected by the arguing?It could be that you can't settle your disputes and then you would have to consider going separate ways but consider all the options first and discuss things together before you throw in the towel.Good luck.
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reader, Kitten-Man +, writes (30 April 2005):
Tell him you really can't handle what you're going through. My mother has exactly the same problem. Once he understands he is hurting you, you should give him three chances. Once you really can't handle it, he has 2 strikes, and so on. After the last strike is gone, then I can only say that if he abuses you again, I don't hink he is worth being with.My dad is an alcoholic and my mother is staying with him just because she can't imagine being with anyone else. She doesn't love him! It is tearing me up, knowing she will never find true love and that I have to live with an alcoholic! I abhor the stench of it Forget finances, homes and think about your emotional happiness. Just remember, it may take him a while to stop all forms of abuse, doing it for so long.
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