A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over six years now. We love each other very much and work so well together. We have lived together for five years and have only ever had small fights that we worked through. I want to grow old together and have his kids and I can't imagine a better relationship. The only problem is that we have only ever been with each other and I'm a very sexual person and part of me really wants to have other sexual experiences before I settle down for good. I've discussed this a little with my partner and he has similar feelings, but we are both terrified of the idea of being apart and of the other one being with other people. Does anyone think it is possible that we could break up for a while and have other experiences and then get back together when we are ready to settle down? I'm scared that there would be to much tension between us to get back together, but I'm also scared that if we didn't experiment now that years down the road one of us may slip up. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): If you split up to be with others, there will be no getting back together like you want. You might try it later but it just doesn't work that way or lots of couples would do it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): If if you sowe your wild oats, those curiosities, never leave.
I say though, make sure you're ready for the rest of your lives togehter without it. If not, break up, and sowe your wild oats......becaue one of you is bound to cheat.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 Pardon me but yours is a rather immature way to look at things.
Life is all about choices, and most choices involve sacrifices and/ or giving up instant gratification in view of something better.
If I give up junk food to have a slimmer body, I'll occasionally crave junk food but I will overcome my cravings in order to keep my good figure.
You want a less mundane example ? then, if I decide to have a baby, at night I'll be home breast feeding rather than out club-hopping, and at times I may miss that- but I'll have my baby instead, which is better .
If you choose committment, you might have occasional regrets and "what ifs " - it's normal- but irrelevant, compared to the greater good : a solid ,healthy, deep relationship.
Maybe your and your boyfriend are not the right person for each other to make that committment...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 June 2010):
No, I don't think it will work. The truth is that if you really loved him enough, you wouldn't be feeling this way. Realistically, you can't just say to him that you need to break up, then go have fun and come back together. The mind may work like that, but the heart won't. I think you're totally right to go out and have your fun, but the price of that is you'll lose this guy. The bottom line is this will not work. You'd be better to end it, and move on. One will get hurt.
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A
female
reader, erinmarie +, writes (29 June 2010):
one word threesome
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