A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my girl friend told me the other day that she wonted sex but i dont no if we should because of are age im 14 and she is 13 but i dont wont to say no because i dont wont it to effected are relationship wot do i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, stephaniewhaaat  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 haha you both dont know what you want. i thought i wanted to have sex with my boyfriend & we did and here i am crying about it while he gets high.
thats besides the point. if you dont know what you want, wait till you're sure & tell her that & hopefully she'll understand.
talk to you're parents about it. it may be freaky, but trust me, it'll make it better. k also if you DO have it (which i hope you dont) make sure you're PROTECTED kiddies!
img src=http://th216.photobucket.com/albums/cc276/sspdrummergirl/th_condom_illustration-1.gif
A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Sex is one way to end a relationship - if thats what you want... I would say Im not ready and have done with it, she may be really cool, but if she dumps you because of it, then (with all due respect) good ridence.
You havent said if shes a virgin or not, but if she is, then maybe shes wants to have fun and doesnt really know what is expected of her. However, if she has anysort of rep then saying yes just coz you asked her could quickly tag you as "easy".
Follow your head, not your heart. Life is much easier that way.
Jelly
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): You present as aged 14 (underage) and currently living in the UK.... Your girlfriend at 13 is younger than you and pressurising you for sex.
Firstly can I say how much I admire you for being able to hold off and get some advice and information first. This was a very brave thing to do, and is a rare quality in a teenage boy. Your girlfreind is very, very lucky to be dating somebody as sensible and thoughtfull as you.
She want's sex, well as the older person, you were quiet right to get advice. Yes your right, sex does change relationships and not always for the better. As ChiRaven suggests, your homones and emotions are pushing you towards sex, but there are other things that you and your girlfriend can do before you go "all the way"... Maybe it's an assumption, but she seems to have put the horse before the carriage. What happened to getting to know one another, building a friendship and a secure relationship, and moving through the stages of lovemaking, one step at a time.... Have you hit, first, second and third base yet, or is sexual intercourse all she wants?
Sex for girls the first time can be very painfull, embarrasing and confusing, and she may blame you, no matter how hard you try to keep her safe. Because your the older partner, if anyone finds out you could expect a visit from the police and be entered onto the "Sex Offender's Register" for having sex with a minor... I'm not trying to frighten you, these things do happen, kids in your situation have been registered in the UK as a "sexual abuser", but to tell the truth, this is unlikely unless her parents or her make a lot of noise.
Girls also have strange ideas about sex, that they get from the movies. They think it's pretty, and nice, and music plays... No! Sex can be painfull, it's sweaty and without knowledge it can be borring or even hurt. Again I don't mean to frighten you, but underage sex, can be a disaster that nobody ever wants to remember.
If you want to keep her from having sex, I suggest you arrange more activities outside, and try to stay in the company of other people at all times... When your together, take the time to explore your interests and hobbies and things you have in common. Of course your sexual, of course you want to touch one another, but did you know there are over a hundred ways to kiss, and many innocent ways to give each other pleasure without the worry of pregnancy and disease.
Anyway take care of yourself, you seem like a decent guy, and please try to take care of your girlfriend too, unfortunately she seems to lack sense. If you ever have sex, please, please, please use a condom to protect against pregnancy and disease. But your better off waiting. Tell her you don't want to take the chance, because your the one who will get in trouble with her parents and the police and will have to pay to support a kid, because she couldn't wait... Good luck, and take care.. Blessings
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A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (30 July 2008):
If you are not ready for sex you should say no. If that damages the relationship then she isn't a very worthy person as having sex for the first time isn't something to be demanded. I never had sex until I was quite a bit older than yourself but many of my friends who had sex at a young age were very often not ready for it and greatly regretted it.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Sex and marriage do not necessarily go hand in hand. But under the best of circumstances, sex and commitment do, and you are not anywhere near ready to make a permanent (or even relatively long lasting) commitment to one another.
Think back to the person you were five years ago. You don't do the same things now you did then, and you don't like the same things. Well, the next five years will bring even bigger changes to you than the last five did. That's why you don't want to get into something that involves a long term commitment at this point in your life. And that's what sex is really all about.
There's a tremendous urge to experiment with sex, and it's a very healthy thing. But that doesn't mean that you should go ahead with it. It's something that you will almost certainly regret if you do.
In the meantime, stick to milder forms of physical expression. You could concentrate on becoming a world-class fine kisser, for example. You don't need to go any further than that. You've undoubtedly seen enough good kisses on TV and in the movies that you have some idea of how they work. Why not practice that until you are both REALLY good at it? It's a fine way to show affection for one another without running the risks associated with sex. There are lots of other things you can do. But leave off "going all the way" until you are a little more ready to understand the commitments involved in that act.
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (30 July 2008):
 If you are unsure, then don't do it. You have years and years to have sex, there's no need to get into it early.
If you want to wait, then your girlfriend should understand. If it's important enough to her that it will affect your relationship, then perhaps she needs to get her priorities in order. Sex is a perk, not a necessity, and frankly, I think you'd regret having it so young. Wait.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Oh Sweetie...No, No, No!!! You should not be having sex at such a young age. I know you may feel ready physicaly, but emotionaly you are years away. Please know that I will be praying for you....Please make the right decesion, for yourself and your girlfriend.
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