A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How old is too old to father my children?I am 24 and my fiance is 38. We know this is an unusually large age difference but we have come to terms with it and dealt with it in many ways living together over the past 3 years.We have a loving and committed relationship and I am sure I want to spend the rest of my life with him.Part of this is starting a family, something that I have always been sure that I wanted to do. I had never thought about having children before the age of 30 until after our wedding, 8 months ago. Now, while I am not entirely convinced that I am ready to be a mother, I am increasingly worried about the future of our family. If we have children when I turn 30, he will be 44. When our child is 10, he will be 54, 20; 64.Is this too old for a father? Am I making a mistake by waiting another 6 years while I could have children now?Or am I just feeling the pressure of a ticking clock?
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female
reader, odeer123  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Fortunately for men, they will continue to be able to have children until they're in a wheelchair! Although thats not my main point, I think I agree with your final statement. :D
You are definitely just feeling the pressure of 'a ticking clock'. I know people who at the age of 20 had their fathers of 70 running races against 40-year-olds and beating them! Of course you would need to keep your man in shape if he was to do something like that, but the point is a man at 64 is entirely capable of being a father to a 20-year-old. The same with a 54-year-old to a 10-year-old.
At 44 he is not too old to have a child. Having slightly older parents than usual will only mean that your children would have a family with more solid foundations and wiser parents to look up to and learn from.
You shouldn't push a family. If you aren't ready, don't do it yet. There's no point, since having a family in six years would be just as good if not better. The age factor that you're worried about could almost be excluded entirely. In your case, it isn't that major.
I know that you might still be worrying right now, sitting in your sit reading this, but believe me you still have time! Plenty of it. Who knows, maybe you'll feel that your ready for kids in two years rather than 6.
When I was about 10, my parents were heading into their 50's. I am, if anything, proud of my parents, and their age doesn't bother me one bit. I often feel the benefits of having older parents too.
So, take your time at present - there's no need to feel pressured.
Children are a blessing, but if they come to soon and you and your partner aren't ready, it could prove far more difficult than it should have to be.
I wish you and your family all the best for the future (potential children included)
A
female
reader, Sagittarius1  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 These are important questions to ask .But are you working or studying yourself? Is there something stopping you from having a baby before your 30? Why did you fix on 30 and get married at 24? you could drive yourself mad with silly questions. your not long married but you've lived together for three years so you should have a really good idea of what kind of a man your husband is and what kind of a father he would be. unfortunately its never really too late to father a baby its all according to how involved with the child your husband wants to be hence how active does he have to be with the baby? Have you discussed this with him i mean it is something that will change both your lives. You don't know whether or not it will all go smoothly for you when you start trying and how difficult conceiving your baby will be so you need to give yourselves plenty of time. Plus i expect you want to be able to enjoy all the benefits of being a young enough mother yourself too seeing as you have the option. Its hard work, veery tiring and better to have youth on one of your sides with this baby. Talk to your husband and make the decision together for all you know he might be really excited at the idea . . .good luck
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