A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm so confused with the situation I am in now with my boyfriend. I broke up with him in May because I felt that he was way too overprotective with me..that it always lead to arguments. He kept asking to come back and I always said to give it some time for us to think of what we really both want. I still loved him but it really felt too much to handle specially when it happened during the times I was having another personal problems with other people. Anyways, he was going on vacation to Asia for 6 weeks from mid-June to mid-July. I told him to have those 6 weeks off to think things through and we'll talk about it when he comes back. I gave him hope. I gave myself hope. I deleted him off Facebook and just didn't speak to him until his birthday. I greeted him. Then, went quiet again. Then, he sent me messages towards the last week of his vacation. And I found myself replying. When he got back, we met up (my parents aren't cool with us being together..but, that's a different matter). Then, we decided to get back together in secret. Since he came back, he's asked me if I've kissed or done anything with any guys during the summer. I said I didn't (which is the truth). So, I asked him back..he said he didn't, too. He kept asking me this question for a while and I'd do the same (just to be polite, I guess?) and as before, he said he hadn't. And then, when he came to visit me, we were having one of our general chats..then, out of nowhere he said that he kissed 2 girls when he was on holiday. And slept with one of them! I cried. I was so sad that he lied to me. He said that he didn't know how to tell me. He was scared but told me anyway because he loves me. I told him that I'm not gonna talk to him for a while because I feel sick everytime I think about it. And because he lied. But, that time we weren't together. So, would that be considered as CHEATING? Should I just break up with him for good? Or carry on with the relationship? Please help! Thank you :)
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, get back together, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (8 October 2010):
 A part of me thinks that you shouldn't because you two were not actually dating at the time. The 6 weeks was his time alone. Another part of me thinks that you should break up with him because what he did shows that he had little faith or hope in your reconciliation which eventually led up to his actions in Asia.
The good thing is that he told you before you found out through another source so at least he is being honest. The bad thing is, you may now find that you have trust issues later on in your relationships. Both can be dealt with as you see fit.
I hope that helps.
A
male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (8 October 2010):
 I think you guys need to communicate not in the sense of general chat but rather about what you feel.
By this I mean you need to tell him "Listen you can trust me and I feel all boxed up when youre so overprotective...just relax". You need to make this clear!
As for the cheating...technically NO because you where not together BUT you also have to know that he cant sit still while youre busy making up your mind!Maybe he did this to try and let you know hes not going to wait around.
Well as for breaking up you should probably tell him how you feel about the whole thing and if you want to break up with him is totally up to you.Yes he did lie and im not saying its right but maybe he was afraid of losing you if he did tell you straight up.
...............................
|
