A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I want all you guys opinions on if this 'relationship' is worth saving. Me and Jake* had the typical highs chool romance. We went out from when we were 14 until we were 16. Ok 2 years may not sounds like much, but when your in high school its an eternity, believe me. We were so incredibly in love it was unreal, ok yeah at first it was probably just that teenage crap but after a year or so I swear to you it was real. Some of the things we said to each other was just so deep. It wasn't just that he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend. I can honestly say he was my favorite person it the world. We went through times where I was being victimised by girls at school and he was always there for me. We lost our virginities together and went through all kinds of crap. Of course we we wern't without our fights, infact we fought all the time, but within a few hours we would be running round to each others house and making up. All our friends said that they had never seen two people more in love (of course thats not saying much as we are all only at high school, but still.)The reason we broke up was my fault. After two years I was feeling a bit... bored really. I just sort of thought 'is this it?'. I know that sounds stupid but its true. There was also another guy, I never cheated, he was just a friend I talked to, but he did flirt and i'm not gonna lie, I was attracted to him. As well as this, Jake* and I had been fighting a lot and there were all sorts of rumors at school that he was miserable and wanted out. So I ended things. But it doesnt stop there... after the initial post breakup awkwardness we resumed being best friends. I didn't allow it to become a relationship again, although he made it plain he was still in love with me. I was selfish though, because I wanted him to be my best friend but I didnt want him as a boyfriend. Anyway as time went on we remained inseperable. Until the summer holidays started, which is when I unfortunatly had an accident, which meant I spent most of it on crutches. This meant I barely saw him. There was also a holiday arranged for me, him and a number of our friends, but I had to bail seeing as I couldnt walk! When we went back after summer, I was starting a new school (because basically my parents couldnt afford the fee's of my old, private one) so I didn't see him as much, but we kept in contact via text and phone. Then he told me he had met a girl (which was great because so had I). Anyway I basically helped him with this girl untill they were going out. And after that I heard nothing from him at all. I'd call him about... once a fortnight to catch up, and he'd either not pick up or just say 'sorry im busy' and then never ring back. I don't think i'd have been so bothered except i'd just started a new school and didnt know many people, so I sort of wanted to talk to my 'best friend'. In the end we had a blazing row about it, with me saying if he could drop me so fast now he had a new girl then it made me feel like he only wanted me for sex. I didn't mean it, I was just angry but he said some stuff too. Then after that we just stopped talking. The next contact we had was on his birthday, I sent him a birthday text and he replied 'thanks'. I tried to continue the conversation but we just ended up fighting again...And its been a year now, and from what I can see he doesn't seem to bothered to have lost his best friend of two years, now he had a new girlfriend (i'm not sure if they are still together, seeing as we dont talk). I have in no way got romantic feelings for him, but every time I see an old valentines card or text message or anything from holidays we've been on I just think about what a waste its been... and I do miss him as a friend. A heck of a lot. But clearly he couldn't care less, which is pretty hurtful. I always think life's too short and that I should just try and regain contact with him, but something holds me back, I think it might be pride...So do you think I should try and salvage whatever is left? And if so, what would be the best way to do it? If you've read all this, your a star!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (24 September 2010):
 Im a star!
i think its a horrible situation but its something which you cant patch up anymore. Usualy people after they break up dont talk because its the history thing. and you guys have a lot. Losing your virginity to someone so young obviously has an impact on you emotionaly and will create a natural bond between you guys. After he moved on from you and got his new girlfriend. I guess he just saw it as moving on, because he spoke to you afterwards in a hope of patching you guys up, then used your wise words to get a new girl! If you hadnt have spoken in a year, and then the conversation he just didnt seem interested then i think thats that. The past was the past. You had a great time and will never forget it. I guess its just fond memories you will always have. He will never forget them either. But its all those of when you were in love. Thats why the friendship couldnt work. You might trigger memories to him which are sad when he looks back, cause he kind of misses how it used to be but knows it will never be.
I would suggest writing him a big heartfelt message and see how that is taken down? Then you know where you stand?
Hope i helped :)
If you need more advice just mail me :) xx
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