A
female
age
36-40,
*oveisreal317
writes:I have kind of a weird situation. One that would either make me sound helpful or make me sound like a raging *itch. I dated a guy named "Mike" and he turned out to be a complete butt hole. While we were dating he started talking to a girl named "Charlotte". She never knew about me though (he was somewhat good at keeping secrets). I found out he was talking to her when one day he said to keep an eye for his phone because he was expecting a phone call. The phone rang, but it was a text and it turned out to be her talking about them together. Our relationship was coming to an end and I knew it. He was a piece of crap so I didn't care what he thought of me anymore. I looked through his facebook (you can hate me all you want for that, but the truth is I'd already lost all respect for him by this time) and read their entire conversations. They had definitely been hooking up and whatnot.So we ended it. A couple of months ago he started talking to me again. I wanted to squash the bad blood, because I'm not one for holding grudges. He wanted to try and gain my trust back. I said sure, with no promise I'd take him back. Boy am I glad I didn't. It turns out that he is STILL talking to Charlotte and they go out on dates. People should really be careful about what they post on facebook (he thinks because I don't have a profile, I don't have access to it. Idiot).So my dilemma now, is that she still has NO IDEA about me. I know this because of mutual friends and whatnot. He's still trying to get with other girls and leading her on and taking advantage of her.I don't know if I should tell her myself or let her find out in the end. I'm not one to pry in others lives unless it directly involves me in it, but this has gone on too long with this girl and she's completely in the dark. I don't know what to do. Help!
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Leave it. You found out pretty easily what he was up to, she could too if she was smart. He doesn't sound like a mastermind when asking you to check his phone while he is talking to another girl behind your back. I'm guessing she's naive and a little dumb. Which means you telling her what he's up to will do nothing, he will tell her it isn't true and she will believe it. He will convince her you are a jealous, angry ex and she will dislike you. Girls like this are in the dark and believe what they want to believe which won't be you. Just ignore him and keep him out of your life. Contacting her is unneeded drama that will ultimately do nothing.
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Tell her!
Usually I'm all for staying out of it and letting things happen as they will, but sometimes us girls have to stick together. I definitely feel like this is one of those times.
Could it backfire and make you look like a desperate ex trying to get him back? Sure, but you know that's not the case, so do you really care?
This guy is a douche, and she deserves to know the truth. I'm sure if someone knew about him while you two were still together, and they kept it to themselves, you wouldn't be too pleased.
Even if you tell her and she chooses not to believe you, she WILL find out one day, and on that day, she'll thank you.
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