A
female
age
30-35,
*issesConfused
writes:My friend has recently come to me for advice, and I'm not sure what to say to her. For now, we'll care her Katrina, and her boyfriend, Craig.So, Craig has leukemia and his doctors claim that he has three months to live. Oh, yeah and he's eighteen while Katrina is still only fourteen. He told her about his situation and proposed, telling her that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Literally. And she's wondering if she should say yes. Of course, as a friend, I think she should do whatever makes her happy. As a citizen of the law, I also think she's way too young to become a widow. I wanna play the role of the friend to Katrina no matter what, but I have this vibe that's nagging me to tell her to say no.What should I tell Katrina? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (6 September 2009):
 If this is really true it is also extremely cruel for both of them.
First of all the girl is 14 years old. As much as it seems a good and loving gesture to someone who's dying, she's not an adult and the effect of losing someone that young is going to be pretty awful psychologically speaking.
The second issue of course is whether there's any truth to this.
Third, I think for her to marry that young, it requires parental consent at the very least. So I don't know how to deal with this legally, but morally I think its not proper.
You don't have to get married at that age and if he's dying it doesn't make any sense at all.
Last, I would worry some about another issue. Its an off issue. But if he's dying of leukemia he's going to have a lot of medical bills. Absent insurance, assuming he dies, its possible depending on the state they live in, she could become legally responsible for his bills.
I know in California because of the community property laws, both spouses can be held responsible for the other's medical bills under the mutual support obligation requirements. Under that state's laws, a parent could be theoretically held liable too, even if the child goes beyond the age of majority, for instance if he was dependent on the parents before he turned 18 and became disabled during that time.
I would have to say take a pass on this one. It doesn't pass the smell test.
A
male
reader, vonVent  +, writes (6 September 2009):
 Grymlocker666, the guy is dying and all you have to say is "He can just die and let that be the end of it." Fake marriage event? This is real life, not a TV show.I agree with quiet-echo, there is no need for the girl to marry him. Advise her to be with him until the end if she loves him.
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (6 September 2009):
 This is a very delicate situation.
First off, I could understand how he (Craig) feels at this point in his life, he must really love your friend. But being that she is underage, they can't get married right now. And like the other Aunt said below she's too young for that type of decision, marriage should take place when both people fully understand it. And in this they don't HAVE to get married to spend the rest of their (well his) life together. You are right when you say that she is too young to be widowed, it is enough knowing what lies ahead already and to have to deal with that extra notion being a wife/widow is too much. I am not trying to sound insensitive, but there are other ways they can be with each other. Promise rings, etc. things like that. But I just don't see a LEGAL marriage taking place here. I do think you should tell your friend your concerns about the situation, without sounding rude (you know what I mean), but let her know how you feel about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): well,she doesnt have to marry him to spend the rest of his life with him in this case, as awful as it sounds. maybe if they really wanted to get a feel for it for his sake, they could get a ring and think of eachother as husband and wife. i dont see any reason why they should (or even could!) get legally married. shes too young to make decisions like that.
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