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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been going to a cafe with a friend of mine quite regularly. My friend told me that the guy behind the counter kept looking at me whenever we went in. He has spoken to me a few times and touched my arm and winked but whilst that is a nice thing to happen I am in a relationship and don't want to encourage it.My friend is single and I would like to see her settled with someone as she has never really been with anyone.I have been in quite a few times with my other half and the guy has noticed this but this last week I went in one day and he was just very polite and not his usual chatty self. The following day he started to take notice of my friend who he had ignored before and started smiling at her and started chatting to her as before he completely ignored her and kept walking off. The following day he saw me in the morning and said hello to me and asked how I was. Later that day my friend went in with me for the afternoon and he turned up there with his girlfriend. My friend said to me that he looked moody and when his girlfriend touched his arm he walked off. He didn't even look at me or acknowledge I was there which normally he would do.We went in today, he was polite to me started chatting about the reward system for the cafe and just general chat and then my friend said that during the course of us staying there he kept looking at her all the time and had chatted to her as well.I am pleased for her that he is chatting to her but concerned as to why he was chatting to me all the time until he saw my partner and then chatting her up after bringing his girlfriend into the shop.Other than refusing to go into the shop anymore, we want to carry on going in there and I suppose the simpliest thing would be not to engage in any conversation with him at all.Any advice would be gratefully received. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 When the guy saw that you were taken , he had to focus on your friend. She being the second choice.
If you like the coffee and the ambiance there, go by all means.
Having some conversation should not be a problem if you enjoy chatting with him .
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 Sounds like he's just doing his job of being friendly to the regulars and you guys are reading too much into it. He's got a girlfriend, and since he chooses to talk to you about the coffee rewards instead of your weekend plans and availability, I'm thinking that he's keeping things pretty professional.
Be a pal and even if this guy suddenly does get interested, don't let your friend be a rebound! I would just let this go and mark him off as a polite salesman and barista. Start looking elsewhere for your friend! Besides, he would always have coffee breath, right?!?
Good luck, sweetness!
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