A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I want to write a letter to my ex boyfriend's girlfriend telling her what a scumbag he is.I am really sick and tired of my ex boyfriend getting away with talking trash about me behind my back.I really think he is a psychopath, he has no conscience or empathy or remorse for what he does to people. He lies, he cheats, he uses women all with a smile on his face and love in his eyes and false words on his lips.He has a girlfriend because he can't stand to be alone, not because he is in love. He wants a hot girlfriend because he himself is very good looking and has a fairly new job where the other single men that he works with are very shallow and put the main emphasis on whether or not a female is hot. They are mostly interested in hook ups and sex, not in relationship. They use him as a decoy at the bars to attract women because he is cute, hansome, tall, but once he opens his mouth it is all over...he's an idiot, so they won't let him talk.He met his girlfriend and started sleeping with her when her husband committed suicide and she couldn't sleep in the house where he killed himself so she stayed over at her friend's house who happened to be his roommate, in two short months after he died they were sleeping together. Now a year later they are still together. She is a total tool because the whole time he was dating her, he was talking to me behind her back and trying to turn me into a FWB, I refused, he then announces to me he has a girlfriend one week after he came to see me and tried to romance me and get me into bed, thankfully, that didn't happen. He made me believe he missed me and wanted to try again, only to gut me again by announcing the girlfriend. When I was shocked and confused he said he wanted to see me too, but he was afraid I would tell her about us. I didn't agree, I told him if I didn't get to see him within the week to talk about this I was going to cut him out of my life forever.He had an accident and went to the hospital, he had called me and left a message to call him, so I did. The girlfriend had his phone. She answered the phone, then didn't say anything, I hung up, she called me back from her phone telling me that he wasn't available...I texted her back asking her if he had asked her to answer his phone, thinking he was playing a game with me, I didn't know who she was at this point. She texts me back saying that he was a nice guy who didn't like me and to get over it. And to fuck off and stop calling this phone you idiot.He called me when he got his phone back when he got out of the hospital and told me of drama at the hospital concerning her and another woman who came to see him while he was going into surgery....he asked me to call him the folloiwng week and we would get together to talk. I did that, he answered the phone and at a distance, like someone else was holding the phone he shouted to stop calling him. I was so mad because I knew he had set me up and made me look like I was stalking him or the only one contacting him and not the other way around, his girlfriend was being led to believe that she was the only one and I wouldn't let go. So I forwarded to her phone all the text messages he had sent me for the last five months while they were dating and I didn't know about her...many of them were stupid sexual texts which I did not give into....I found out a year and a half after I broke up with him that he is telling people that we both used to work with (he still works with them) that he never dated me and that he has a restraining order against me. This is completely ridiculous, I haven't even accidentally run into him in 9 months or spoken to him. He sent texts to me a month ago accusing me of writing something negative about him on the web and that he was going to retaliate by doing the same with pictures. I told him I would take legal action if he did do that....so far nothing is on the web from him about me....which he has nothing negative to write anyway, I never did anything to hurt him.He I believe has a personality disorder. He calls the mother of his child a fat slob that he had a one night stand with. Well, after she got pregnant he lived with her for a year and a half and he cheated on her lied to her, and didn't share in the expenses. She sued him for back child support and to this day he complains about that, saying that living together for a year and a half should have counted towards support.....He hangs out with a woman from work. He has a past female coworker that is 250Lbs and balding that he screwed around with (after we split) while she was still married, she divorced her husband. She thinks he is a wonderful person, and she is willing to lie for him, she feels special because this handsome guy will talk to her on the phone, will fuck her in private, and she just feels so special. It amazes me what a fat ugly woman will do to get up next to a handsome hunk that doesn't want her....He disgusts me...his girlfriend disgusts me. He is not her equal. He has a high school diploma, he is stupid, he talks bad about everyone including his friends behind their backs, but to their face he is charming and funny. He has a job because he is good looking and he sells vations, he isn't that qualified, but he gets by in life on his looks. It isn't fair. He's a dispicable person with no character....he paints me as someone he never dated...we were close for two years, I spent almost every day with him, every other weekend with his daughter, he lived in my house for 8 months rent free because I thought we were building a future together, we started a job together that took three months to start paying out any salary, so I let him live here for free and asked him to contribute towards gas for the car, which he did.He started treating me really bad, he would disappear at night and not answer his phone or return home when he promised. He was drinking and driving without a driver's license and was on a suspended driver's licencse for two years with a DUI, his second one which cost him thousands in legal fees, I was so angry at him for being so irresponsible. He also had epilepsy and did not need to be drinking on his medicaitons....he hasn't changed, he still drinks and drives, he has his license back so he is back on the roads. I used to call him on his phone when he disappeared repeatedly because I was worried, so he tells people I am controlling and I stalk him.I also asked him to stop talking to the fat married bitch who called him non stop because I could tell she was hung up on him. So he called me controlling and stalking....sure enough after he moved out the fat bitche's husband drove his car into his garage door and called him up and accused him of having sex with his wife naming the places outdoors where it happened. He denies this as true, but I am sure it is....otherwise he wouldn't have been so angry, and she was obsessed with him and still is, even though he now has a steady girlfriend.The girlfriend is blonde, thinner, younger prettier than me, so he tells her I never meant anything to him, he never dated me, I am obsessed and stalking him....so believing how special she is, he has her duped.I want to write to her and tell her of all the abuse he put me through, the verbal abuse, the lying, the betrayal of trust, telling me that he wanted to marry me down the road, maybe move out of state, perhaps have a business together, then he starts to tell people at work he is just renting a room from me,,,,he stops going to work functions with me, he abuses me at home, he disappears, and blames me for it all....She needs to know that this is her future too, he's done it to all the women in his past. It doesn't matter that we are heavy or older, he had sex with us, for years, he dosen't care about weight, he uses what ever attributes the current woman has that are perhaps socially more acceptable than the past woman as a reason for her being a liar....it's insane.I have moved on with my life, I am just so fed up with him and having him trash me like that to anyone when my name comes up. She deserves to know he is lying.I want to write her a letter....what do you think?I want to write to his
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at work, broke up, co-worker, divorce, has a girlfriend, liar, moved out, my ex, one night stand, roommate, stalking, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not contacting him, he's not contacting me, I just heard that he is telling lies about me and our relationship to people that we both used to work with and it really upsets me that he can get away with that.
The word out right now is that he and the girl I wanted to write to are broken up. He is spending time with another woman whom he met at work, obviously she has no clue who I am or that he has a whole string of failed relationships one right after the other, or she would run for the hills.
I don't know who broke up with who, but at least now she is seeing the real guy after wasting a year of her life.
A
female
reader, LoveIsStrongerThanPride +, writes (24 July 2010):
 People are referring to your column here. You care so much who and what he is doing. Ignore him, do not contact him, don't contact his "girlfriend". RUN AWAY and don't look back. There are many men out there. Why are you obsessed? The rumors will die down.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): Sorry, but a lot of what you wrote in your OP sounded like you were contacting him. Don't answer his calls or texts. Don't call him, don't do any favors. Once you stop giving him the time of day, the rumors will die down because he no longer can pull your chain anymore to get you fired up and angry.
Writing a letter is still a bad idea. Just be done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not doing anything to come off as desperate and clingy, I haven't spoken to him or seen him in 9 months. I broke up with him, I asked him to move out, I asked him to stop calling me, I made the mistake of letting him back in by talking to him on the phone for several months and seeing him a couple of times (no sex) and believed that he was remorseful and apologetic and wanted a second chance...he used me to make the now current girlfriend jealous and to lend credibility to his lie that I was obsessed with him because I called him...well he asked me too, and the minute he did that last thing telling me to call him then her picking up the phone and him shouting stop calling me....I sent him a text to never call me again that I didn't need a betrayer in my life like him....since then he has contacted me about some BS on the internet and tried to suck me back in by making me feel sorry for him....I told him to leave me alone.....it's that after a year and a half he is STILL LYING to people about me, our relationship and that somehow I am a stalker and he has a restraining order.....it's a LIE....these are people that work where I used to work that most don't really know me and it could negatively impact me in getting an employment reference.
Do you get that he is a lying scumbag, I am too good for him, was generous, kind trusting and was betrayed and he is skating through life because he is a con artist?
So I a not sure what you are referring to when you say what I am doing....not doing anything....yet.
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A
female
reader, elizstar  +, writes (20 July 2010):
This guy is a scumbag I totally agree, but he is no longer your problem. You do sound a bit obsessed and its taking over your life now, its unhealth. You need to put all this in the past and pick yourself up. The other women in his life would only think you were jealous and trying to come between them, and she will believe him not you. You know the truth, she will find out on her own. live and learn.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): Your ex is a scumbag. Leave him alone. Leave his new girlfriend alone. Don't write her a letter. She'll find out on her own. But what you're doing is coming off as clingy and desperate.
Don't do evil just because he's done evil to you. Be the bigger person.
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