A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello I have a little bit of a difficult situation here and would like to have some advice as i'm mega confuzedI recently travelled to visit a friend, however her house mate lets call her (D) met up with us in town and we went for drinks and what not....D started talking to me and we was playing pool together...nothing really significant happened untill on the bus back to town she said to my friend lets call her (E) 'so E do you like your frrrrriiiieeennnddd' in a very sarcastic tone and at one point also referred to me as 'sweetie' again in a very sarcastic tonehowever one day when i was on the bus with D she stated 'she would like to stay in contact with me after I left'However one night when everyone had gone to bed D said to me 'you know u dont have to sleep in this room you can sleep in my room if you like'so I went into her room and slept on the floor near her bed when she said 'no don't worry you can sleep in the bed with me don't worry nothing weird will happen' so I get into the bed when she asked 'would u like a cuddle?' and she then admitted when she saw me in town she thought 'wow he's pretty cute'regardless of this, this is where it gets complicated, she shares a room with an ex (they are still living together for various reasons, its kinda complicated) he wastnt at the house that nightso heres my dilemna I have travelled a far distance to visit a friend...but her housemate thinks i'm attractive/wants to get to know me better but...I have seen situations like this when a couple have broke up but are still living together/acting like a couple to some degree and what i've seen in this situation with other people and learnt is 'be careful where you tread' as things can get quite messy,more often then not the 2 people usually end up together again, and things can get quite violent and one person usually ends up getting hurt....I would like to know peoples opionions about this sort of thing, and what I should do...is everything as much trouble as its worth? not to mention i'm staying at the house with them all and dont want to make any sudden moves as i might regret it later....
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 November 2010):
Hi there. As your friend's friend is still living under the same roof with her ex, simply don't go down that path.
Like you said, in these situations someone is very likely to be hurt, and that someone could well be you.
The fact they are still living under the same roof, proves there is still something there, even if they are no longer sleeping together. Anyway, that makes it a "No Go Zone" just because of that fact alone. It's potentially very volatile indeed.
It is very likely that the two of them could work things out between them, over time.
Tread very carefully with this girl - because her ex is still living there - and just see what the situation is with them. Don't give her any encouragement, until you see just how she is when she is with her ex. If you go there one time, and he is there, well you will see how they treat each other, as to how things are really like, between them.
Or you could ask your friend how they are with each other, she would see it every day. That will give you an indication.
Then you will know for sure, whether to even consider getting to know her.
But until then, steer clear of her altogether. Try not to be alone with her (if your friend goes out, for instance). Don't put yourself in what could be a very awkward situation, and then her ex walks in unexpectedly, coming home early from work one day. It could happen.
It's something you have to think about very carefully.
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