A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is a wonderful guy and I love him so much and I know he loves me too. He isn't gay or even bisexual, guys themselves make him uncomfortable sexually, but he's really attracted to penises. Which probably seems weird. I know he's definitely not just afraid of coming out to me, because I accept everything about him and besides, I'm bi, so he knows he has nothing to worry about. But he does want to try having sex with a guy. It doesn't make me jealous, but I just wanted to know, should I worry? And should I be as ok with him having sex with a guy as I am?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2012): Its basically all on how you feel, are you ok with him being sexual with another person other than u? Because regardless of gender its cheating
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 November 2012):
 I think your submittal reveals a childish fascination and curiousity about both your budding sexualities....
In that regard, you and he should feel free to explore whatever you (and he) wish to try....
The most overriding factor that both of you must consider is BEING RESPONSIBLE in your curiousity and exploration. "Free sex" .... involving third, fourth or any other number of participants.. involves exposing yourselves to the sexual (intimate) histories of EVERYBODY ELSE who participates with you. In short order, you and he can have "been intimate" with an enormous number of "other" people... Be safe...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): Its basically all on how you feel, are you ok with him being sexual with another person other than u? Because regardless of gender its cheating
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): Hi dear,
If you ask me, you have two options:
1) You say you don't want him to have sex with another man. This might put the relationship at risk because he will think about his wish all the time and secretly blame you for not letting him fulfill his fantasy. Sooner or later he might then cheat on you with a man or break up.
2) You say yes, he can have sex with another man. This might put the relationship at risk because he might actually find out that there's a person attached to a penis, that this is not just about sex, or that he just wants this kind of sex more than sex with you.
What I mean to say is, there's no safe option to make sure you both will stay together forever. Even if you two love each other, there might be some things that will tear you apart in the end. The good news is, since there's no safety and no right answer to this anyway, you can just follow your heart and your curiosity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): Its basically all on how you feel, are you ok with him being sexual with another person other than u? Because regardless of gender its cheating
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Um, honey I understood you just fine and answered your question accordingly.
Having sex with others exposes your relatonship to greater risks. Those risks include STDs and yes, developing attachments to others. Hence my saying the risks were great and the rewards fleeting.
What is the chance of him leaving you for someone else, man or woman? We can't say for sure, but they are certainly greater if he is intimate with them.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (11 November 2012):
 There are "ejaculating simulator" dildos that would work in a strap on. Search sex toy sites. He doesn't have to have sex with a man in order to get what he's looking for.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Why should you allow him to try ? Sex is sex, whether he has it with a male or with a female. If you don't "allow " him to have sex with another woman just to satisfy his curiosity or his whim, then you should not allow him to have sex with a man either. A person is a person no matter what shape their genitalia have, and , in general, the idea in a committed relationship is to never bring in a third party at any level.
If you both are 'nt bothered by the idea of non-exclusivity and of cheating, and you agree to have an open relationship, then that's a different kettle of fish. But in a "regular " couple, I don't see why the gender of the third party should make any difference.
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A
female
reader, delightful84  +, writes (11 November 2012):
How can a man be attracted to penises without being gay or bi? The stability of your relationship wont be known unless he does something to affect it like leaving you.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Part of a relationship, a stable one, is being with each other only.
If i really loved someone i couldn't be with anybody else sexually.
I would worry that he is willing to but his desire before your feelings and emotions, it is clearly going to be hard on you as a person and as a couple.
If he is with you then he should be with just you, not you and some guys now and then.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh and I wanted to know if I should worry in terms of how stable our relationship is and how likely it is he'll leave me. I was not asking if I should worry about him having those desires.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUm, honey, I didn't say there was some sort of problem with him bisexual. I mean he actively wants to have sex with guys. I'm not saying he's merely attracted to him. He wants to have sex with them. I'm wondering whether I should allow him to try having sex with a guy or not, not if it's weird or ok. So you totally misunderstood me. I don't care if he's attracted to men or anything. I am merely attracted to women, but he's asking if it's ok to actually have sex. So don't get all snippy with me.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (11 November 2012):
Does being bisexual mean you enjoy women as much as you do men? And if so should your boyfriend worry?
What I would be more concerned about is this belief that being bisexual means you must have one of each to satisfy whatever mood you're in at the time. We're talking about real people, not ice cream flavours.
As long as you involve others into what is normally reserved for the two of you, you're going to be ill at ease. The risks are big and the rewards fleeting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe wants the ejaculation aspect of it too tho.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (11 November 2012):
If he just wants a penis, and not a man, have you two ever thought about you using a realistic-looking strap-on in order to give him the sensation and look that he likes without it being another person?
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