A
female
age
30-35,
*arahB77
writes:So I went and did the worst thing possible, I fell in love with one of my friends. I've known him nearly two years and realized that I loved him about 4 months ago. Now I don't want to lose a good friend if he doesn't feel the same so the dilemma is should I tell him or not? I had asked one of our friends, lets call her Jane,(we have a small group that are close) and she suggested just waiting and I had another suggest telling him in a letter-but be there in person when he reads it. It is really hard for me to make this decision because I've never been in a solid relationship and the confidence I need to tell him at the moment is non-existent due to various reasons. Jane says she's seen some signs that it may be reciprocated but really I'm not sure what to do here. Do I take a chance and tell him or just suffer in silence?
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male
reader, DV1  +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Do NOT say anything, trust me... Just leave it be. I just got out of a relationship with my best friend, and it gets really ugly on the way out... Spare your friendship...
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 November 2012):
I think the best thing to do it tell him. Yes, you are putting your friendship at risk, but it's much better than spending years wondering whether he's interested or not. You could find yourself waiting a long time just to find out he's not interested, and then you'd be broken even more because you'd have wasted time.
I say tell him, see what he says and go from there. It's worth the risk.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (11 November 2012):
 I would say nothing until you have a reason to think your feelings for him will be reciprocated. If they aren't, you'll have exposed yourself needlessly and made him very uncomfortable.
Wait and get a better read of the situation before saying anything. Or test the waters, but do it tactfully.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): Tell him sweetheart you'll never get the reward if you don't take the risk. I think your friend has a nice idea with the letter if its easier for you to compose your thoughts. I wish you the best!!
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