A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So in a very complicated relationship. I have been with my bf for almost six years. He has been in prison for a year now and will be eligable for house arrest soon to live with me. I love him, always will but think we should have broken up a long time ago. But I Really don't want to hurt him. I want to help him. I owe him that. He would help me no question. So I guess I'm asking do I just wait till house arrest comes to talk and probably end things?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): I don't think you're obliged to stay with him just to spare his feelings. He might help you now and then, but he wouldn't sit around pining away for you if you were the one in prison.
And it's cruel to have him live with you knowing he can't have you anymore.
There really is no 'good' time to break up with someone. If they're down, we don't want to hurt them even more. If they're feeling great, we don't want to take away their happiness. You might as well just be honest.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (23 August 2011):
tell him ahead of time, don't wait.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (22 August 2011):
 I think you definitely need to tell him ahead of time so he has an arranged place for him to go. I don't think the courts would like it if he went to your address and had to change it so soon after being released.
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