A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am in love but we are broken up... We started going out october of last year and broke up in January. Since then he has dated one other girl. In June, he started hanging out with me again and told me that he still likes me and we hang out and talk on the phone a lot. At school he hangs out with the girl a lot but still talks to me... He is not allowed to date anyone because he has a very complicated thing going on in his life. I'm not sure if we should just be unofficial until he can date, or if i should date other people. The only problem with dating other people is that when this thing is over and i'm dating someone i don't want to hurt that person... Help
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice it really helped me a lot. We broke up for no reason at all, like two hours before we did he was saying that he loved me and everything, and then he just randomly said that he didn't feel the same way about me anymore... It was weird, but now him and the other girl aren't talking anymore and it's really only the two of us, so it's gotten better for me i guess you could say. Oh and one more thing, he tells me he loves me when we are getting off the phone or whenever i am at his house
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 October 2010):
Why did you break up? Who broke up with who? The "Dreaded Ex" is called such for a reason... and as that book title goes, it's called a break up because it's broken. And what's up with this rebound girl, the in between girlfriend? He has already spent time dating around? Have you? How serious were they? Does he still have feelings for her? If you think he does, don't get involved... a love triangle is inevitably messy. Just look at Archie, Betty and Veronica.
If you are feeling like he is in love with you and vice versa.... if you really, really like him, have no interest in anyone else but him and the feeling is mutual, I'd just hold out until he is ready to (or allowed to) date. If he is special enough, it won't be difficult.
But, if you are interested in dating other people and you think there might be possibilities for a long term relationship with somebody else (not just someone to bridge the gap between now and when this guy can date you), I'd say that since you aren't dating him - you're available. And if something comes up, you shouldn't turn down the chance. You're young! And there may be guys with less baggage attached. Just saying.
So really think about how much this fella means to you. If ultimately, he's the one you're going to be dating, you might as well not get other hearts involved. And remember to really think about why you broke up in the first place! Issues don't just disappear. Good luck, sweet!
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