A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. Okay, so I like this girl who is senior. I'm a sophamore. Senior and sophamore relationships happen a fair amount in our school (it's a small one), but she seems a bit beyond my uh level... I think she thinks I'm cute, but not in a "I wanna date him" way. Honestly, I doubt that I'll end up going out with her. Do you think I should try to, or just give up and try to stop liking her? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): Shoe sounds like you a bit stuck, I know how hard dating is in school, you could be worried of making a fool out of yourself, and that people will make fun of you if she reject you, since this is a small school everyone will probably know if you made a move and she didn’t feel the same way, take it as slow as possible, try and become her friend, go to the mall or a park just to hang out, don’t tell her instantly that you are interested, act as if you aren’t and as if hanging out with her is only coz its fun, this will also give her the time to really get to know you, and perhaps fall in love with you, coz she wont feel pressured at all. Its human nature to want what we cant have, so play that game, don’t throw dating at her, just be a friend for now (oh but do treat her nicely not like you will one of the boys) and she might want what you not offering, work your interest in her into your friendship slowly. This might work out for you, but if it doesn’t at least you know that it was truly coz their was no chemistry between us, and the two of you can still be friends
A
male
reader, Mr. Sensitive  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 SO...you start by saying you like her. I think that's a great place to begin. If you like her, and there were no other considerations, well, then, of course you'd ask her out.Of course there are always other considerations...like, "Will I be embarrassed if she blows me off?", or "I really like her - will I be crushed if she doesn't like me back?"Honestly, these are real and valid considerations. The answer to both of them is Maybe. They also aren't the real question. Life isn't winning the lottery. Everything is practice for the next thing and the fact is unless you play, you never get practice and you never get better. Your beautiful senior is definitely worth asking out, even if she says no. Do some homework, and find out what she likes to do. Strike up a conversation about that. Ask her if she'd like to do that thing with you, on a certain day. If she says yes, then you get to go out with her - yay! If she says no, yup you might be really hurt. But that alone means you'll be stronger and smarter the next time. You'll know if you are reading the situation better. You'll understand more of what that look in a girl's eyes means. NONE of these things can really be taught, it's learn by doing. You'll also know more about yourself and how brave you can be.Really, you don't have that much to lose, other than maybe being hurt. Your friends might give you a hard time, but they'll really be thinking "I couldn't have done that...".If you're going to have to stop liking this girl anyway, it might as well be knowing that you gave it your best shot. Maybe she will. Maybe she won't. Either way you get, as the song says, better harder stronger faster.Good luck.
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