A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok some time ago I wrote in about a really horrible friends with benefits situation I could not seem to get out of. It went on for two years until finally the cloud went from my eyes and I could see the situation for what it really was. We have both moved on. He has a girlfriend now and I have had a boyfriend (which I ended because I wanted to be on my own.) So for the first time in a LONG time, I have been really really happy. I've learnt to respect myself and know that I deserve better. I just wanted to focus on myself for a while . I seen him recently at a weekend event and I just stayed away from him. His brother, who had barely said two words to me in two years, come over to me (quite drunk i'll admit) and started chatting away asking how I had been, what I had been up to and that he was glad I had stayed away because it was for the best, that I seemed a nice girl so he doesn't know how the whole thing happened with his brother. Anyway long story cut short I ended up spending the whole weekend just talking to him and meeting all his friends. It was amazing how much we just clicked with each other. We were out one evening when his friends were asking me about his brother, I told them nothing that it was over and I was with someone else (I panicked and lied). They then asked me about him and I just said I enjoyed talking and getting to know him as a friend (I suppose I was trying to behave and not come across in the wrong way, especially since he was stood there too) the thing is i've never met someone like this before, we just seemed to bounce off each other. He seems so lovely and down to earth, he is too nice ! I asked him why he has never spoken to me properly before and he said because of everything with his brother but its over now, and that he was always too shy anyway. We really hit off. I don't think he is after a fwb thing as he hasn't once tried it on with me. He just keeps going on that I seemed a nice girl and he doesn't know what I was playing at. I hate it, that I have this history with his brother. My heads mushed! Now that we are home he still talks to me, I don't know whether to appreciate just being friends or try to mention that i'd really like to get to know him more? I don't want to cause a rift between him and his brother and i'm really scared of being rejected. It's just awkward! I mean I don't even know if he could see me in that way anyway. I don't know whether to even just leave it alone and consider it a harsh lesson learnt?I know this is nothing about drama because I did not want this. I didn't want to meet anyone yet as I had only just gotten myself back on track. But I also don't want to miss out on the possibility of something great.
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drunk, friend with benefits, has a girlfriend, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, playitagain-sam +, writes (31 May 2013):
The fact that he is (potentially) interested in the girl his brother was FWB with is a red flag for me. The two of them seem to lack good judgement and maturity in my opinion.
Best not to get entangled with either of the brothers, a lot more harm would come out of it then good.
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