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Should I try again with the woman I dumped?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2020) 7 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2020)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I broke up with my girlfriend because she had a degree and gets paid more than me. She has her own place. I moved back in with my parents because I’m going through a divorce. I have a crappy job she tried to help me find a better one. I kind of miss her the sex was amazing! She messaged me asking for the stuff she brought me back I ignored her because I still care. I don’t know if I should try again or just live my life I have a son that I love dearly with my wife/ex wife. I don’t know what to do!!!!!

View related questions: broke up, divorce

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (22 February 2020):

Ciar agony auntI think you should return her property, leave her and every other woman alone until you have yourself sorted out.

'The sex was amazing'...Shallow.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (19 February 2020):

Dionee' agony auntYou should give her back everything that she has asked for. You broke up with her because you were insecure and feeling inadequate. That's not her problem, and you will make it her problem once again should you choose to date her again. Let her move on with someone that is supportive of her success and not jealous of it. In the meanwhile, focus on getting your life together. Let the ink on the divorce papers dry while you STAY SINGLE and figure out how to pull yourself together.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (18 February 2020):

CindyCares agony aunt… She still has a degree and she still earns more than you and she still has her own place. She still has her s..t together way more than you do, so, if her being in a better place than you was what broke you up the first time, - well, nothing has changed from this point of view and you'd just break up again.

Plus, technically- shouldn't you be single, and your divorce final, before you can have " a girlfriend " ?? Otherwise , you don't have a girlfriend but a mistress, and no, it's not a matter of old-fashioned pruderie, it's simply that the relationship you can have with a girlfriend, as a single man yourself, is necessarily very different from a relationship you have to keep unofficial and uncommitted, and be very discreet about. All different dynamics.

You'd better give this girl her stuff back , and focus, for the time being, on getting your divorce finalized, getting a less crappy job, and moving out of your parents' house. When you'll have accomplished that, THEN it will be the momenet to let your love life and sex life take priority . But, as of now, first things first.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 February 2020):

Honeypie agony auntIt didn't work the first time, trying again won't be any different.

Work on yourself and building a life for you and your son.

As for the great sex, well that is neither here nor there.

And yes, it sounds made up. But in case it's not.. ^ that is my answer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2020):

Work on getting a better job, and leave her alone. If you have things she wants back, give them to her. You dumped her for some weird reasons; but it's best to be honest and open about what your insecurities are. That means you know what you need to fix and improve.

You need to get your life in order, and deal with your insecurities. You are also under the pressure and strain of going through a divorce; and your drama is more than any relationship can endure. Who's fault is it that you're feeling insecure about yourself? It's not hers!

Let her go. Taking you back, will only bring back your unresolved issues and drama. Workout your past-life, before you try to start a new one.

She doesn't really want you back; so give her back the stuff she bought you. If she wants it back, it wasn't given from her heart, and if you keep it; it shows you're being petty and a drama king.

Dumping someone for any reason other than a good-one, is humiliating and the rejection is very painful. None of your reasons made any sense.

Incompatibility and insecurity seems to the true reasons. Her income and all that was just your male-pride and ego.

Concentrate on your own life. Box-up the stuff nice and neatly, and have it shipped to her.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (18 February 2020):

Aunty BimBim agony auntThis really does sound like a made up story, but just in case it isn't then really, for whose benefit would you get back with this woman, yours or hers. In my opinion you did her a massive favour dumping her for the reason you did, she really doesn't need an insecure person like you in her life. Give her back the stuff she bought you and let that be the end of it.

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A female reader, Beets United States +, writes (18 February 2020):

Beets agony auntPlease do not get back together with her. Give her the things back that belong to her. She deserves to move on, and you need to focus on your own life. Don't take her back because you need sex. That would be cruel, and she doesn't deserve that.

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