A
female
age
30-35,
*uesting for Love
writes:So basically I like this guy at my college who's into music and stuff,but I've been way too nervous to talk to him. I told a friend of mine (who he happens to hang out with)that I liked him, and I joked that she should give him a hint that someone likes him. She is completely up for it and at first I thought it could actually work and help me get to know him, but today a close friend of mine told me that's he actually not very nice. She said he turn conversations onto himself quite a bit and that he was rude because he constantly took her stuff and started snooping through her ipod and told her all of her music was 'shit'. And I trust her opinion of him since she has hung out with him more often than I have. The other thing is that while I like a few bands that he likes, he's more into hardcore stuff that I'm not entirely into and it makes me feel like I just wouldn't fit in with him. And now i want to tell my first friend not to tell him anything because I really don't want to see him as a jerk.Is it wrong to trust my close friend's opinion of him? I mean she did tell me to make my own opinion of him, but I'd rather just save myself the disappointment of possibly discovering that he's not the nice guy I thought he was. I honestly do feel like I'm probably not his type anyways... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 October 2013):
 I think you can trust your friend on this one. Even if you went on a date and got to know him yourself, hed probably just put up a show to look his best. With others he is his normal, rude self. Maybe it would be better to get to know him without him knowing you like him. That way you can see if he just has a problem with your friend (which can be a red flag) or if hes just rude in general (in which case dont date him).
A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid +, writes (22 October 2013):
 your close friend has no reason to lie to you, she sounds honest to me. However I do actually suggest that you see what happens with him, the fact that his coming of as a jerk, maybe its a bad idea that you have your friend do all the work. You should approach him yourself, and if his a jerk, ohh well at least you know, and theres no what ifs at the back of your head. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (22 October 2013):
 Trust your intuition, and trust your friend. Honestly, it won't matter if she still drops the "hint", just an opportunity for you to let his reaction further confirm what is likely his attitude.
Your friend has your best interest in mind, and that means a lot.
Anyone can put on a good front to someone they are trying to impress or garner attention from. How they treat others that they are not trying to get something from is a much better indication of who they are.
Without much direct interaction you already know a few important things about his character that are more than enough to suggest you would be saving yourself some trouble by not pursuing him any further. He snoops, and is critical of the musical tastes of someone else? Yeah...pass!
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