A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Help me. my girlfriend and I have been having so many problems. for one she had a lot of guy friends that flirted w/her on her facebook "that picture can bring a man to his knees" "I miss you, love you punkass" "those eyes I never get to see" etc etc . she said they're just friends and it's innocent but when the one time I told her friend how we had the same ringtone on a video they were in...she flipped on me saying I was flirting. she always posts a lot of cleavage, not like a little but a lot. she recently posted a profile pic of her with a rose i gave her in her boobs. I got very mad and commented on it "why don't you just show the rest to everyone here" cuz guys were drooling. I later apologized publicly on her wall but I had brought it up so many times that I felt the need to take drastic action. She always posts poems on there about how we are doing. either really lovey dovey or how I hurt her and we're falling apart. example;"When all this time I've kept certain emotions soloWhere they are simply frozen in timeStashed away inside, but never really goneJust pushed to the back of my mindThe way a person feels who's waiting at the back of a lineStill they exist in the depth of their ownSolitude, enough to keep moving onNever physically by myselfYet somehow still feeling most days so alone."for everyone to see. the reason I called her out publicly was so she could see what it's like to be made a specatcle of.One night we got in a fight and she just left, turned off her phone and hung out with one of her good guy friends who was also having a problem w/his girlfriend. I saw videos she took of them together dancing in a parking lot and then talking shit about guys. which pissed me off. she didn't understand. She is always texting and won't let me see her phone. One time she s agreed to let me read them cuz she was convinced that it only showed her side of a convo. So OnCE I FOUnd the outgoing message folder she FREAKED! she grabbed the phone, so I held harder and then she proceeded to choke me and yell very loudly to LET GO! I was sxcared the neighbors would call the cops thinkin I was raping her so I let go and she locked herself in the bathroom. Later that night she told me she just said some bad stuff about me to her girlfriends but i doubt it. She's hit me a few times and her excuse is that I told her to shut up or fuck you. Yeah I have cussed her out but I've bit my tongue a lot. We always listens to her music. every time we hangout and won't even let me get a song in. I'm very into underground music and HATE the radio and pop. Well that's all she listens to. So after I have to hear it w/her I go to work where they play the same shit and it's driving me crazy. On the flip side I'll admit I have an anger problem. Sometimes I just flip from nice to very annoyed with her. When I first met her she added me on myspace. She had a bunch of "modeling" pictures up that were so sleezy I thought there was NO WAY I would even have sex with her cuz she looked so dirty. she posted a bulletin about needing a roommate so I responded just to flirt. I ended up saying how I walk around naked and she said she does too. I was like well if we were naked in the same place the whole place would burn down (i know it's lame) but she just kept flirting back and I was supposed to go see the place that night. She backed out at the last minute. Fast forward a year and randomly running into her and we started dating. It;'s been rough because of my first impression and a lot of her behaviors. I don't know if I should end it or just put up with this madness. I really love her and she's absolutely beautiful. when things are good we are so compatible, other times it gets so bad I honestly think I hate her. P.S. we live together and share a room/bathroom. I don't like telling my friends our problems so I went anon to this website. any feedback would mean a lot. thanks! -concerned
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionop here, I'm doing everything I can to end it.
A
male
reader, Zorro19 +, writes (2 January 2011):
The big thing that vaught my attention was the phone issue. My sister has had her share of boyfriends in the past and that phone trick is old. She was a cheater and never let her bf see her fone. I knew she would go out with other guys but it was her life so i stayed out of it. anyways sounds like ur girl is hiding something. It could be big or small but still she doesnt want you to know. Add that to the other problems and I'd say get out! move on bud. Hope it doesn't get too messy.
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A
female
reader, TexInTheCity +, writes (2 January 2011):
Get out of there! She sounds like a psycho and a cheater dude, run! There are so many better people out there. Bad idea to Be living with this girl , you wind up with no options. Go find another place to live and go back to just dating the girl if she's so great but she sounds like a crap girlfriend to me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): She's hidding something, id let my girlfriend read all of my messages, and she would do the same. I wouldent deal with that crap, move on
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): I just got out of an abusive relationship with a woman and I'm realizing the amount of crap I put up with. You have to cut it off and tell her why. For your own respect and self power you have to. You will miss her but otherwise she will crap on you and you lose her anyway. At least you keep some respect.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (2 January 2011):
Well it sounds that you two have differing personalities that can turn into a toxic relationship. For one, she obviously craves the attention she gets from flirting. Hell, YOU met her through flirting. Its evidently become a problem; a cry for an approval from others that can stem from confidence issues. She enjoys the fact that she can, as you put it, make guys drool over pictures of her. Its flattering and the feeling she gets from it is like a drug.Ironically, she also gets insanely jealous, as you mentioned, as far as you and other girls goes. In my opinion, she has maturity issues and isn't suited for a stable relationship. Relationships are about being able to lean on AND support the other person, and if only one of those people is actually doing it the whole thing topples. Overall, she simply craves attention (cleavage pictures, posting poems about your relationship) and she needs to grow up if she thinks getting it from other guys is okay while she's in a relationship.For once thing, you really need to open up your communication. When you talk about the things that bother you, say so not in an accusatory tone, but rather in a sincere manner. Be kind and gentle with her, even though sometimes you may think she doesn't deserve that privilege. If you can't talk about your problems, you two will only go downhill much faster. You need to be fair to one another, give each other the benefit of the doubt. You should start by showing more of these traits and if she isn't mature enough to follow suit then she probably isn't worth your time.Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Im sorry, this girl sounds like a bit of a nut! I would run like a bat out of hell!
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