A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, So I'm 19 years old and I'm gay. Anyways I'm just in the process of coming out of the closet, most of my close friends, cousins, aunts and uncles know, except my parents, but well I'm planning to do that soon. Anyways, a couple of weeks ago I posted an ad on a gay dating site stating that I was looking for a Bf (of course friends 1st)..and there was this guy who responded and we started talking, he sent me some pics and I did to, so we met for lunch, and we talked like for more than an hour. Then after we met personally for the 1st time, he told me he wanted to go out for dinner and movies, so we did the following week. Anyways,we started texting each other after our 1st talk in a chat room...and well, he has been very honest to me (of course I'm not 100% sure if he really is honest but oh well). He told me he's looking for friends right now since he broke with his BF a couple of months ago and he told me he needed a relationship break. Anyways, I'm always the person who texts 1st in everyday. But now, I dont know what to do, because I dont want be like annoying and well I want him to text me 1st too. So for about two weeks I always texted him every morning to wish him a good morning and a great day at work...and that's how our conversation of the day started. but today, I decided to see if he would text me, and is almost at night and he hasnt texted me. maybe he's wondering why I didnt text him this morning, and maybe he doesnt want to text me because he doesnt want to be seem like he's desperate like in finding a Bf. I asked my cousin for an advice, and she told me, to resist, and that If he cares,he would text me, but I'm afraid that he may have in mind that I lost interest in him. He seems to be a very nice guy, we have been texting for about two weeks and we have normal conversations and asking each other things, and we haven't talked about sex (which is amazing, because most of the gay guys I have talked to, the 1st thing they would ask me, is If I'm a bottom or top). anyways I dont know what to do, should I send him a text or should I wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice...and yes, I want a relationship, but I know we need to start as friends 1st. And I decided to stop texting him like everyday, like yesterday I only texted him at night to ask him how was his day. But, now I'm going to wait to see if he text me back... I Know he would like a relationship, otherwise he wouldnt have contacted me in the 1st place...he's a very nice guy (which I like because most of the gay guys I know, they want to jump on you everytime they see you). I think what is the problem too, is that I'm just coming out of the closet and he's already out of the closet, and also he already has a professional job, nice car and he lives in his own place. I have a job, but I still need to go to college, I already graduated but for some personal reasons I couldnt attend this year...anyways I dont know what to do anymore...but I think I'll just wait and see what happens...I once heard that when you try to force love in a relationship, you will end up destroying what you have accomplished so far...I know it will be hard, But I'll wait
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (23 February 2011):
 You've already setup a pattern of texting him first thing. To suddenly stop could be a little shocking to him. He might just wonder what's wrong. Don't cut him off entirely or it could have negative ramifications. Cut back to maybe every other day or so or change the time of day that you text him. He'll probably start texting you first on the occasion that you don't beat him to it.
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A
female
reader, kristina kumar  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Well I'm not gay myself obviously however if u want something that much you'll chase it until you reach your goal despite what he or anyone thinks of you, at least he'll know you serious and care! If I was in your position I'd confront him ask him if then still it seems he's not bothered move on to the next on he wasn't the one in that case but at least try!! DONT GIVE UP MY FRIEND :). Good luck xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): if you are the text first type then do it bc thats who you are however i wouldnt suggest doing it every time you have to wait for him to text you first to let you know hes thinking about you.. control your urge to text first all the time. i get the same text several times i was just fixing to text you well i hate that so i stopped texting him first and he started texting me it felt nice to get a text without having to wait for a response or just an i'm thinking about you message :)
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