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Should I tell the guy I just slept with I have genital warts?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 July 2007) 14 Answers - (Newest, 4 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i was treated for genital warts a few months ago and i recently slept with my ex should i tell him as i think they are comin back

View related questions: genital warts, my ex

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A female reader, LauraE United Kingdom +, writes (4 July 2007):

One thing I didn't make clear below was that I was, and still am in a monogamous relationship. Therefore ununprotected sex was OK after we were both clear. One of us had unknowingly contracted it before we met. Obviously, unprotected sex is not a good idea if you are not monogamous.

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A female reader, LauraE United Kingdom +, writes (4 July 2007):

Hi again,

Re comments below -

Well like I said, it was my doctor's advice. I got them, I was treated. My next smear showed that they came back. Worried and annoyed that I might have been misled, I went back to my doctor. The advice was quite clear. "No, you haven't got them forever, you were too hasty with unprotected sex". More treatment, and I learned my lesson. That was 10 years ago, and sure enough, they never came back. Like I said, it shows up on a smear test. If you think about it, medical advice that "repeated infections" can cause cervical cancer does suggest that it's curable - other wise the infection couldn't be "repeated". I wouldn't have mentioned any of this at all if another poster hadn't confused genital warts with herpes. I thought that the original questioner had enough on her plate already without that confusion. So to anyone reading this who is thinking "Good grief - now what do I believe?!". The answer is, get your medical facts from your doctor. It just shows how important it is to use protection, and be honest when you have got something, because STDs can be a lot nastier than you might think.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (3 July 2007):

stina agony auntLaura,

I can't find any resources that say there is a cure for either HPV or HSV and I've even checked US government websites. In fact, everything I've read and heard from doctors states the exact opposite. Are you thinking of the shot that helps to *prevent* contracting HPV?

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A female reader, hj87 Canada +, writes (3 July 2007):

hj87 agony auntOf course please tell him! He needs to know!

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

love-him agony auntHey babe, tell him, he deserves and needs to know. x x x .

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A female reader, LauraE United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

I am absolutley sure. genital herpes, and genital warts are 2 completely different things. Genital warts are caused by the Human papillomavirus(HPV). This is a serious problem, because repeated infection can cause cervical cancer - but it is completely curable. You are confusing this condition with the herpes simplex virus(HSV), which does indeed stay in your system for ever. This is the one which causes cold sores amongst other things. To the person that asked the original question - If you are in doubt about what you have, then go back to your doctor, becaue it is an important difference. I would never make glib remarks about such an important problem. I passed on advice that I received from my own doctor,who presumably knows a lot more about it than any of us.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007):

To clear up any confusion, it is the wart's themselves that are contagious, the virus itself isn't.

You can use medication to clear up wort's, so that you have no visible signs of the virus but it still remains in your body. If you have contracted genital herpes then there is always a risk that you can pass on the virus and so it is important to practice safe sex and make sure any future partner know the risks involved.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (3 July 2007):

stina agony auntYes, you need to tell him. If his health is at risk, you shouldn't even have to question this! I think you know you need to let him know what's up, but you're putting it off as you know you've done something wrong.

And Dr. Pete is right - it's not curable, as you know (since they're coming back). The symptom (warts) will only go away for periods of time, but the cause (a virus) will still be in your system.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007):

Laura, you should be absolutely sure about something before giving medical advice on this website.

Genital herpes is NOT curable.

http://www.hpvfaq.com/answers.asp?questionid=10025&answers=206

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A female reader, LauraE United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

They are curable. My doctor told me so and she was right, they never came back. You only have them forever if you keep passing them back and forth between yourself and your lover or lovers. If you get them treated properly, and abstain from unprotected sex until they are completely gone, then they are gone. Yes, tell him, he needs to get checked out himself.

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntYes I think you should.

You would want him to tell you if he had an infection right?!

xxxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007):

People have been prosecuted and imprisoned for knowingly giving sexual partners diseases and infections.

You need to take some responsibility for yourself and others and be more careful in the future. You do realise that genital warts is not curable and you have it forever, right?

Of course you should tell him, sooner rather than later in case he infects anyone else.

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A female reader, huneygyrl United States +, writes (3 July 2007):

huneygyrl agony auntWhy wouldn't you? Of you course, you should.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (3 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntDefinitely yes.

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