A
female
age
41-50,
*J
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months after being friends for 7 years. I love him dearly, but my problem is that I have a very, very short temper. He only has to do the slightest thing to annoy me and I am straight there, shouting at him. I think because I have known him for so long means that I feel very relaxed with him and I know he adores me. I would just like to know how have others managed to deal with their temper. What techniques can I use to stop me going from 0-10 in what seems like, 1 second. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, NJ +, writes (3 July 2007):
NJ is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. I know in my heart that I will eventually lose him if I continue behaving in the way that I do, but sometimes I feel like he I am testing him and pushing the boundaries. He says that he has been in love with me since he met me (I was with someone else up until summer last year) so I guess I feel that I can get away with it with him.
I have been this way in previous relationships and I am like this with my family as well. I have just returned from a trip to the supermarket where I started shouting at the manager of the store because there weren't enough check outs open and then stormed out. Within seconds I felt awful. I just wish I could control these outbursts!
I will take your advice. I enjoy exercise and there is a gym at the end of my road that specialises in Muay Thai. And I will try to just give him a kiss when I start to feel angry rather than shouting at him. Or ask him to kiss me when I get like that. He is an amazing guy, who has put up with alot from me.
Thank you again xx
A
male
reader, Shortacid  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Like dixiegirl said, you are going to drive him away, b/c he will realize he can never please you.
These outbursts might be unchecked aggression from some other facet in your life. Try to isolate what that is, and leave the anger there and not transfer it onto someone else.
Besides this, are you generally angry with yourself?
Anger relieving Techniques can range from simple things like mediation and gardening all the way up to more anger releasing outlets like boxing and Muay Thai kick-boxing.
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