A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been crossdressing for a few years. My wife both supports and helps me with this. We do go out together while I am dressed up. She gets a kick out of watching guys hit on me. A few weeks ago while at a club I hung out with a guy for an hour or so. My wife seeing this guy hitting on me told me to see where it leads to. We went outside for a walk and we ended up in his car and he asked me to give him a blowjob. I said no and went back into the club. I told my wife what went down and to my surprise she said that I should have given him a BJ. She said this would really turn her on and really wanted me to do it. I then looked for this guy and when I found him I asked him to take me back to his car again. We went back to his car and I gave him a BJ. Back in the club again I found my wife and told her the deed was done. We went home, went to bed and she asked me every detail how it was. We had really good sex that night. She really was turned on by this. Since then she has not asked me to do it again however I did really enjoy giving this guy oral pleasure and would like to give oral to another guy soon. Should I tell my wife that I have a disire to continue being with guys or should I just do it and see what her reaction is?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 September 2013):
I vote for talk to her first.
anything you do without clearing it first could be misconstrued as cheating unless you get a "free pass"
so the convo is
"honey I enjoyed it and want to do it again, do you need me to clear it with you every time I do it or is there some other way we can work this out to please both of us?"
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 September 2013):
Talk to her even include her if the two of you would be into that. DON'T be a jerk and cheat on someone who has been so open minded with you thus far.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 September 2013):
Definitely DO NOT "just do it" and see what her reaction is. Why? Because even if she would ordinarily be into it, if you don't tell her about it then that's not something you're doing together - that's you cheating on her behind her back.
The first time you were with a guy, she was the one in control. She's the one who encouraged you to get the attention, she was the one who got to give you the okay and encouragement to give this guy a blow job. You were the one she returned to and went home with.
if you go out independently, you are being sneaky, you're being a liar and you're making this not a thing that you and your wife do, but something that you do on your own. There's a huge difference.
Absolutely talk to her about this. Maybe she'll be into it, or maybe after last time she doesn't feel comfortable with you being with guys anymore. But you have to give her the opportunity to tell you if this is okay with her or not. You have to be loyal to your marriage first. If she's game, then everybody is a winner! Just keep checking in and ask her to be honest and make sure that it continues to be okay with her.
And, while we're here sort of on the subject - you need to be really careful. You know you can get almost as many STDs from oral sex as you can vaginal or anal sex, correct? Be careful - you have to keep your body safe and you have to respect your wife's body too.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2013): If this is the kind of relationship you are going to have in your married life, then yes, you need to be upfront and honest and talk about this stuff often. It's one thing for your wife to give you the go ahead, but doing it without her knowing will probably backfire down the road. And by the way, don't be careless and not use protection. It's very irresponsible of you to be going around giving random guys BJ's and anything else you might go for in the future. All your fun is a great and all, but coming home with an STD and then passing it on to your wife won't be so fun anymore.
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