A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes: I picked up a hooker and took her to a motel. When we were done I was taking here back to where I picked her up. A door opened just a couple doors down as I passed by with her and it was my brother in law with a hooker of his own. He just looked at me very surprised but he finally said I never saw you and you never saw me. I just nodded. After that we went different directions. He's married to my sister and I don't know if I should tell her or not. I don't want to hurt her but I feel like maybe I should tell her. My wife and I have an understanding. She knows that I do this and I would appreciate it if everyone just witheld some moral judgement here. We haven't had sex in years. She was sexually assaulted over 15 years ago. She has a psychological problem from it and won't have sex. I love her but I am still a man. I still need to have physical contact. I didn't know what to do for her. She refuses to go to a therapist. She knows what I've been doing but I don't want to rub her nose in it or embarrass her because I'm afraid that's what will happen if I tell my sister what her husband has been doing. so should I tell my sister or should I say nothing at all?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): I think you should talk to him, and give him a small window of opportunity to tell her himself. If he doesn't take it, turn up the heat until telling her is the path of least resistance. She needs to know, but I think it needs to come from him if at all possible.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Tell your sister before she finds out he has given her HIV.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): tell.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): i am glad you explained the situation with your wife. if not i would tell you its like calling the kettle back. but coming back to your wife, do you love her and do you respect her. if you do (apart from seeking out whores) try bonding with the wife emotionally and winning her over with your love. i don't know the extent of her trauma is but i am sure with love, understanding and empathy she can fuction again.
as for the BIL.his story is very different from yours, isn't it? i think you know that YOU NEED to tell your sister. is she an invalid, had some trauma in her life. NO? then she ought to know be told the truth. my BIL now believes you two are in coherts and that you two now have a pact. don't be his ally and please do not disrespect yourself and your sister by withholding this fact. i think you need to hae an adlut conversation with your sister, tell your your marriage issues and your wifes acceptance of you using prostitutes. and then tell her what you saw. yes it will be uncomforatble but the truth needs to be told. if you withhold this vitl info then you only have yourself to blame if your sister contracts HIV/STDs . this is a reality. don't be wilfully blind to the wrong act. it makes you worse than the BIL in the end.
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A
female
reader, wee_neko +, writes (11 August 2010):
Think of all the lovely STDs floating around that your sister could unwittingly catch. If she doesn't happen to have an understanding with her husband as you have with your wife then she probably should know.
She probably won't want to know though. Be prepared for a shitstorm.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): First I would talk to your brother-in-law, and see what he has to say. Your sister might already know.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Don't say anything. Who knows, your brother-in-law could be a triple agent, and his "hooker" was his contact. Course, he could be out getting laid. Or he could be out of his mind. Or he could be testing the "waters". Lots to consider in all of these statements, now isn't it ? And you know, sometimes people gossip and gossip and gossip, and they don't even know that the one feeding the gossip could have a personal agenda. And it gets twisted at times. Just chill, out, you know what they say, it all comes out in the wash.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (11 August 2010):
 I suppose you should. She's going to want to shoot the messenger though, so be careful how you break it to her. If she's close to your wife you might want to let your wife tell her without disclosing the source of information. But there's not going to be any easy way to do this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Yes, tell her. For the sake of her health at the very least!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): If course u should tell her , No self respecting woman wants to be with a man who does that.......GROSS.
As for your wife, sorry but it seems she has bigger problems than her past sexual assault such as bring married to a prostitute pig
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (11 August 2010):
 tell your sister, she deserves to know.
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