A
female
age
30-35,
*ankaccount
writes:okay i am going to uni next week and i have been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years my paretns don't know i havent told them because there is a 9 year age gap i am 18 he is almost 28 we are in love but iam wondering if i shold decide to tell my parents about him and him tel his paretns about me ?do yo think we should?what might there reactions be like?do you see anything wrong with a 9 year age gap ?if i should tell them should i tell them before or after uni Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 He was your teacher huh? Yup, your parents won't understand and will likely not like this guy very much. He should have known better.
Not good at all.
Your best bet is still to tell them. Lying to them only prolongs the problem. You said you live together. Your parents are going to want to see where you live at some point. What are you going to tell them then?
A
female
reader, bankaccount +, writes (29 September 2010):
bankaccount is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit was me who decidied i didnt want to tel my parents because i new how they might react.
okay he is a stand up gentleman but i am living with this man we love each other i am just wondering if they disaprove if they will make me choose between the 2 and i wouldnt want to do that ..
i want to be happy.
yes i am in a sexual relationship with this man and have been since i was of a legal age of 16 in uk ..
i also havent told my paretns because he was my teacher .. but wasn't teaching me at that stage in my education.
please help ..
thanks for those who have answered already
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Your parents will be hurt by the fact that you kept this a secret. They might be angry that you started dating a 26 year old when you were 15 1/2, That's underage and illegal. It makes your bf suspect as to his intentions in THIS parent's eyes!
I'm assuming that you have a sexual relationship with your bf. At what age did this begin? Did your bf suggest or tell you specifically NOT to tell your parents? If he did, you might want to consider that your bf was well aware that this whole relationship was not kosher. They may even be mad enough to pursue this with the authorities.
If you are legal age now, you have every right to see this guy, but I respectfully suggest that you have really mucked this up! For whatever reasons, you kept this a clandestine relationship, whether you were coerced or not, but the outcome probably isn't going to be a happy one for the foreseeable future, and if I were your Dad I'd want to kick his ass.
To an adult outsider who has children your age, I think this guy who is 9 years older than you is an opportunist. In my eyes, he took advantage of a young girl without her parents consent to date her. A stand up guy would have been a casual friend, and waited for her to grow up a bit before asking permission to date her.
You should probably go to uni and take a break from seeing this guy while you are there. I think with a little distance, emotional maturity and time, you may change the way you look at this relationship.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 September 2010):
I think that your parents will be more hurt by the 2.5 year secret then the fact you've been dating an older man. That age gap is a little bigger than the norm, but nothing that is out of hand. After all, you're over the legal age of conscent, so there aren't legal issues with your involvement.
I always believe that honesty is be best policy. Your parents want you to be happy, so I doubt that they will do anything drastic like disown you.
I vote for telling them.
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