A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should i tell my ex new gf that a few weeks ago he asked me if i wanted sex with him, that he would offer his services 2 me, i said no but he also said he wanted 2 suck my tits a few days before he asked me for sexIm now wondering if he really ment it and maybe doing it with someone else, Its crossed my mind but havent said anything but i dont want her 2 get hurt, by him, i no i wont ever do anything but would he with anyone elseI think she kinda nows hes a flirt but should he be saying this 2 an ex Any guys out there would u do this
View related questions:
flirt, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tomas  +, writes (7 March 2009):
Tempting though it may be to get involved, my sense is that you probably don't want to get dragged into that drama.
Now if she were your best friend, the answer would be different. And if you knew that your ex had an STI/STD from sleeping around, there's an argument that health concerns would give you a right to intrude. And maybe if they were engaged, you might have a reason for slipping an anonymous note to her, or to her best friend.
But as a general rule, it's best to keep well-intentioned intrusions into others' relationships to a minimum. The results can be counter-productive, and you'll generally get accused of bad motives ("she wants to break us up to get him back") and feel some obligation to stand up for yourself, thus getting dragged further in. And in some cases, you might have both noble and not-so-noble reasons to warn off ex'es new interests.
The part that concerns you is your relationship with your ex. You can tell him No, clearly and forcefully, and say you wouldn't want to be with anyone who would cheat on his girlfriend, i.e., reinforce the behavior you want him to learn.
As to his new girlfriend, sometimes women fall for a player. She'll need to learn how to spot one, and the purpose of this relationship for her may be just that. Ultimately they are the couple; be careful about turning the relationship into a threesome.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, salvadda  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 You have been put in a very bad spot. Since he is your ex, he knows the possition you are in now, and that alone tells you something about him. Since you are asking yourself if he really ment it or not your, yourself are not sure about how serious he was. It is good to hear that you didn't do anything with your ex, which means you respect his new g/f. It does say a lot about you....you also have morals.
The choice is up to you. You should however think it over very carefully. Try to think of the pros and cons. I will give you my opinion with consideration to your position in this matter.
You don't really know for sure if he is doing/offering himself to other woman. You don't know if he was serious or not. He might have other motives also. If you do inform his g/f he might very well say you are making it up. It would be your word against his. This will also cause probs between you and his g/f. He might tell her that you are trying to make probs for them. He might even tell her that you are jelious. It might even be that he might want you and her to get into an arguement. It might very well be he might want to get you back for something. He might want to make you look like a bad person. There are so many cons I could even go on.
If you really think about all the cons what good would it would it do to tell her. Chances are if he was serious about his offer, he will/might cheat on her. It does have all the signs of his disrespect for her.
In my opinion since nothing came of it thanks to you. I would not say anything, because it would only put you in the middle of things. If you knew for sure if he is cheating on her it would different. It would then be a matter of saving her hurt in the long run, and also helping her see the true person she is with. Even then he could say you lied. I would like to add that for him to put you in that situation he is also disrespecting you.
You can also talk to him and make it clear that if it does happen again you will tell her. Make it clear that you will not put up with his behavior. It might even get harder for you to keep it inside as time goes by, and then you might very well have to tell to save yourself from feeling guilty about it.
I feel very bad for you, and it is an alwful situation this man put you in. By your letter I can tell that your aim is true and you don't want his g/f to be hurt. I say give it a bit more time and think about it. See what comes from it......good luck and take care
...............................
|
