A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have a different relationship than most you could say. i am 16 and he is 27 but we are in love with each other and we dont see ourselves with anyone else. My boyfriend has like a fetish of spanking me and pulling on my hair when we have sex. I dont mind it but he really gets into it and when i tell him to take it easy he just does it more or harder. He always want me to beg him to do things to me and always makes me swallow when i go down on him. one of his friends that is also good friends with me and who is 26 walked in on us one day and my boyfriend told me to go please him while he watched me get it real good by the other guy. we ended up having a threesome but they both basically tag teamed me and made sure i would beg them to stop. Sometimes i love doing it but sometimes its like why do i have to be his sex slave? Im not complaining though because he definitely returns the favor and makes me feel so good. What are your thoughts on this because i dont know if i should tell him to tone it down a bit or what.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Your boyfriend is not a good person at all he's not only breaking the law hes sick. Dont let him use you like that. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): You are too young for all this! You need to tell your parents! This guy does NOT love you!
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (22 February 2009):
 Oh, damn, just realized your age...well, no sex shop for you for a couple of years. Sorry hon:( Well then, maybe you ought to simply confront him with this issue. I am worried that you fall pregnant and not know who the daddy is if threesomes are happening, and he is probably the kind of guy that tells you he dosnt do condoms, huh? Yeah, you should tell him that the whole controlling you in bed thing is starting to turn you off.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (22 February 2009):
So, he likes to control in bed, huh? Maybe take this a step ahead of him and be more controlling to him, see what happens. Go to your local sex shop, purchase some outragious dominatriks (sp?) outfit for yourself, along with a whip, some cuffs, and maybe even a dildo, and next time when you plan to have sex, start barking the orders. Tell him to take that dildo (you know where), and boss him around. If he looks disappointed, tell him you thought he'd get into the whole being controlled thing, and enjoy it. Sometimes the only way we can tell people close to us just how we are feeling about something is to show them, turn the tables around. If he acts like a horses behind about it, tell him you just thought he would like it because he's always doing it to you. If he says "but I thought you liked it", then be honest. Tell him you don't mind every once in awhile, but you'd enjoy alittle love making shared between only the 2 of you. If you watch TV together, tell him "hey, that guy is hot, I could totally do a threesome with him!" See how he responds. He may notlike that, as much as you don't like being a sex slave (which is completely understandable). Good luck, keep us updated!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Wow. i dnt know what to tell you, its a bad thing what youre doing and yes to me this sounds like you re his sex slave, its illegal anyway and he can hurt you. i say you stay away from him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): This is a very unhealthy relationship. Even if you don't realize it, it is. These are much older men, obviously living thier ulitmate fantasy of having sex with a young girl and manipulating her in any way possible. Bottom line, if you say stop and mea it, it means stop. If they don't stop, it's rape no matter how you look at it. These guys are creeps and perves.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Been there, done that. But after a while it gets old and you will yearn for true love-making. Sounds like meth users to me!
Some men can only be turned on by rough sex, and fantasies.
You are under age! He could be arrested for that! But if your not complaining...
I don't know what to say! You will get tired of being the sex slave eventually. And then it will be time to find a real man!!!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): What he is doing to you is absolutely criminal in every single US state. The further I read into your post, I become more and more scared for you, and sick to my own stomach.
This is NOT love. This is an abusive relationship, and you are the victim of statutory rape. And when you tell him to stop, and he doesn't (or goes harder) it is becoming simply rape. I'm sure I won't be the only one to tell you that this is a very dangerous, extremely unhealthy relationship, and it is GUARANTEED to end horribly.
I understand you love him. But if he truly loved you he would NOT be treating you this way. He does not respect you or your body if he is doing these awful things to you. I'm not saying there isn't a place for "rough sex," but you really don't sound very willing to participate in his horrid fantasies. Read carefully: he is taking advantage of you. He knows you won't leave him, despite the disgusting things he is doing to your body. These things can do horrible damage to a young woman's self esteem, and the effects can be lifelong. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being degraded like this?!
Be strong. Strong enough to get along by yourself. Only then can you really love and be loved.
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A
female
reader, bettynotsweaty  +, writes (22 February 2009):
he is not allowed near your pants until you sort out a safe word (something you would never normally say during sex) that if either of you say, the other instantly stops what they are doing.
if he does not respect you enough to agree to that, then get out of there before he forgets the meaning of the word no. i get the impression that if he is already involving you in threesomes that you didnt exactly sign up for at the age of 16, this is not far off. you can also point out that as far as i can recall the age of consent in america is 18, and he can be up on a statutory rape charge, never mind the normal kind.
be careful, please, when dealing with this situation. by the sounds of things your boyfriend is not exactly a gentleman, from what you are talking about and the worrying difference in your ages (i am not judging, a have a friend who met her husband when she was 15 and he was 25, but in alot of places a 27 year old man who does things that you describe to a 16 year old girl would be called a paedophile). do it while someone else that you trust is in the adjacent room, or at least the same house.
if he does not stick to the safe word, kick him in the balls, grab your clothes and leave him for dust, you NEVER EVER have to do anything sexually that you do not want to do, no matter how well he reciprocates.
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