A
female
age
36-40,
*ykidzrmylife
writes:Im four months pregnant by another man which was a one night stand. at the time I was not with my kids father now we are back together and he knows about it because I told him, now he wants me to have an abortion or to give up the baby after birth. I don't know what to do can someone please give some advice.
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female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Just wondering how things are going with you?
A
female
reader, mykidzrmylife +, writes (22 February 2009):
mykidzrmylife is verified as being by the original poster of the question Me and my kidz father had seperated for a while but we deciced 2 try 2 work things out b cause of da kids...the guy dat I had a one night stand with I knew him for awhile me n him did use a condom but it broke I got knocked up n now im expectin his child.the father of my 2 kidz don't want me 2 have da baby b cause is not his I told him dat he just going 2 have to accept my decision because it is my child. I don't want to lose him but if he decides to leave that's on him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Why did the father of your kids leave in the first place? How long were you separated? You have to do what you want to do ,don’t let anyone influence you to do have an abortion or give your baby up for adoption unless that is what you want to do because you are the one that has to live with the choice. My point is he left you and his kids and that makes him unreliable. He can’t just come back and tell you how to live your life. He left and if he wants to come back he must accept you have moved on and that you are now pregnant,if he can't deal with it,then maybe you need to question his motives coming back.
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A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (22 February 2009):
You should do what you think is right. If you think it would weigh heavily on you if you had an abortion, then don't. Take your man's feelings into account, though. If you think it will damage your relationship, then you should consider giving the baby up, if you can't have an abortion.
Best of luck to you. I know this isn't easy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Well, it's not the baby's fault. You're husband needs to accept this. I would advise carrying the baby and giving it up for adoption. It takes ALOT of love on the husbands part to be ABLE to accept this child, and if he wants you to abort it, then he would probably hold a grudge against the child. That's a sad life.
We all make mistakes, but trying to erase them doesn't change anything. 9 months isn't very long to make things right. *hugs*
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female
reader, Kimberle +, writes (22 February 2009):
hi I have three children, 2 different dads. they are 10,7,and 1. This last one was pure miracle..was never suppose to have kids again..but God had a different plan for me. I do not beleive in abortions, I beleive God never gives us a cross to heavy to carry. I was fired from my job 3 months into this pregnancyand still do not work. I am a single mother and do not get any child support. Sounds bad huh? But some how we make it..I am the happiest now than I ever have been. Men, Relationships they are not guaranteed to last forever..however the love of a child is. Men can be replaced children can not born or unborn. I have a few friends that have had abortions 10-15 years ago and it still haunts them..not saying they regret it, but the question of what if, what could that child have brought into my life stays with them to this day. As far as being stable money wise, no one I know is ever finacially ready the way they want to be. But we make it. Dont let your husband/boyfriend or nebody decide for you... you make this desicion for yourself. But remember at four months pregnant the baby is a child already and it can feel you & hear you. I know of some good websites if your interested let me know. Hope this helps and if you want to talk I am here.
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (22 February 2009):
 Hi hun. I will give you my opinion but I would strongly advise you to get some counselling on this one. I note you are from the States...would there be a planned parenthood in the phone book. Birthright is another option but they always advise against abortion where planned parenthood will encourage you to weigh your options. It sounds to me like you partner is taking out his pride and or hurt feelings on your unborn child. I note from your post that you already have a child or children with your partner. If it is not pride or hurt...perhaps financial concerns about another child. Did you and your one night stand partner not discuss birth control. If you were not using birth control, have you been checked for an std. Sounds to me like you are kind of in a whirlwind of going from this man to that man without thinking of the consequences and you are now kind of paying the price. I just feel like this is too loaded a question for any of us to tell you what to do as you do not give insight here into the important questions. Are YOU in a position to be a responsible mom. Do you have a job and can you pay your bills if you want to keep this child. I do NOT think your partner should dictate what you do here. If you abort or give away a child you wanted to appease him...you will resent him. With the help of professionals, try to make the right decision for your unborn child. If you are planning on staying with your partner include him in the counselling..he may change his stance. Birth control is even more critical in one night stands for the prevention of stds and to prevent this sad situation you are now in. You do not know your partner and it is always a little risky. I know women often take the stigma for this and I know it is not fair..but it is what it is. Good luck hun and keep us posted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): I think you're too far gone to have an abortion and as for giving it up at birth, judging by your username that's not an option I think you can live with.
It's your body, your baby and regardless of what he thinks it's your decision, he has no right to demand anything got to do with this baby and even moreso because it's not his.
Trust what your heart is telling you, It seems to me like you'd put the kids you already have before him, this child is no different.
Look at the kids you already have, what would you say to him if he told you to give them up?
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