A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend got a TERRIBLE haircut, it looks ridiculous and I'm not tying to be mean but it's the worst haircut I've ever seen. I didn't tell him I think that either. He doesn't really like it either but he's trying to grow a man bun, and I honestly don't want that hairstyle but I will support his decision and have complimented him. Should I tell him I don't like it? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 October 2016):
 My boyfriend liked his hair at almost shoulder-length (before we met). He's considered growing it out again, but I don't like that idea. I like his hair short at the sides with a little bit of soft fluffiness on top. When *he* brought up potentially growing his hair out, I said it's his choice and I'd still be attracted to him, but I prefer his hair the way it is now.
I think you should do something similar. When *he* brings the topic up again, you can say something like "it's your choice and I'd still think you're cute, but I really like your hair shorter".
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2016): I feel I need to add to what I offered as advice. He may have said he didn't like his haircut; because he was giving you the chance to give your honest opinion. Not that he was asking for your permission.
At your age, young people try out all kinds of crazy styles and fashion trends. It's experimentation with expression, and sometimes we must try to be supportive. You shouldn't let a boy dictate to you how you wear your hair or how you dress.
Everyone defends girls a lot about their self-esteem and body-image, but everybody dismisses how a guy feels. We internalize a lot to show how tough we are. We don't use our tears to show it hurts, we keep it inside until we get pissed-off.
You don't like man buns; once he gets it, he might not like it either. Just don't make a big deal of it. He should feel free to express himself, and so should you. He won't always like your style, but he still may not say so. Bad haircuts aren't always accidents or a bad choice. Some are a work in progress until we get the proper hair-length to complete it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2016): It's his hair and his way of expressing a style he wants to tryout. Styles come and go, and being as young as he is; he can change his mind by next week.
Leave it alone, and just tolerate it. It's the boy not the haircut that matters. It's your opinion that it looks ridiculous, but some other girl just might give him the compliment he's looking for.
He's going to say he likes clothes and hairstyles you wear and keep his real feelings about it to himself. We guys have to do that all the time, or have to put-up with pouting and tears.
Put his feelings first and see it as a phase. His parents are dealing with it, so should you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2016): No because he already knows it sucks. It would just make him feel worse. I would however express my opinion that I dislike the man bun idea. If he goes ahead and does it anyway because he wants it so bad that's up to him but I wouldn't pretend I like it.(Personally could not take my boyfriend seriously with a man bun!)
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 October 2016):
 Too late. If you say something, it won't make his hair grow faster, so what's the point of embarassing him now.
You can suggest, though, he can try some other haircut that, in your opinion, he would look great with for when his hair will have grown back . Luckily, a haircut is not like a tattoo or plastic surgery. In a few weeks, months at most, one can always change it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonny +, writes (7 October 2016):
You will find at your age (the teenage years), people do lots of daft things & try out many different hairstyles, fashions etc until you eventually settle on a better look as you get older.
Your boyfriend probably has a silly hairstyle now - but next year his hair could look great - so at this age - just be patient.
I have made the mistake of telling an ex partner that I didn't like his beard or his shaved head. It mattered to me - but other people it may not matter as much. But as you get older it's our own lives & you are with people more permanently so I believe yes you should have a say, if that person is a big part of your life.
Just be diplomatic!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 October 2016):
 Nope, if he doesn't like it, don't make it worse by NOW telling him you don't either. It's hair, give it a month or two and it will have grown out.
If he talks about it to you, suggest other hair styles for his NEXT haircut maybe?
And next time don't lie, just tell him it's not the most flattering haircut you have seen on him.(if you don't like it)
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 October 2016):
I don't see what good it would do. We all have preferences, but it's not always best to voice them. For example, my boyfriend accidentally shaved too much of his hair, so he had to shave it all - I was still attracted to him, but neither of us liked the haircut. I never said that to him, though, as I didn't want to make him feel worse, just because I preferred a different hairstyle on him.
I'd suggest leaving it; saying something won't change it, but may hurt his confidence.
...............................
|
