A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should I tell his wife?I am 18 years old. On new years eve(last night), i had been drinking. (first mistake) For the past week i had been house sitting my neihbors across the street. Towards the end of the night (around 3:30am) i went to go let the neighbors dog out. One of my neighbors who was at my house asked me if i was going alone. I responded yes. He said he would join me. I thought nothing of it. I let the dog outside, and then went to the restroom. When i opened the bathroom door up, the man was on all fours at the base of the door to scare me. It worked. I fell down (due to the alcohol) he laughed and the dog barked. He said something to the dog along the lines of "what are we doing, puppy?" then he proceded to rub my legs and talk to the dog "we can grab her leg huh puppy" at this point in time i figured something was wrong, but it wasn't registering correctly. After this he reached up and turned off the lights and begen kissing my stomach, and moving down unbuttoning my pants and then performing oral sex on me. The entire time i knew it was wrong, but i coulld not bring myself to do anthing. After both of our phones went of a few times, he sat up and said we should be going. I took the dog back down the stairs to her kennel and then went back upstairs to lock the back door. the man said "i'm sorry come here" he walked toward me and then pulled me into him and kissed me. Then the situation was over. We walked back to my house and said nothing. The man is in his late 30's/early fourties. he has a wife and 2 daughters. I cannot function with how badly i feel. I can't stop thinking about it and i am to the point that i can't cry anymore over it because there are no tears. This morning, while i was sleeping, the man and his wife and daughters came over for a brunch that i slept through. At dinner this evening my mom told me that the man had said that he hadn't been that drunk in a long time and that he was pretty hung over and refuses to play drinking games with us anymore. I took this as him beating around the bush saying he regreted it. Yet I know that this cannot be the first time that he has cheated. Should i talk to him and was what he wants to do? do i ignore it as though it never happened? do i tell his wife? Please help with your input. I can not function because i am so torn about this.
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male
reader, Wontonbomb  +, writes (2 January 2010):
 There are some pr**ks out there definetly. Sorry you had to put with that lout. I'd advise you to talk to your mother if you have a close relationship to talk about your feelings regarding this. Don't focus on his wife and daughters yet, just get yourself feeling better.
When you are ready, I would advise writing an anonymous letter to the wife. I have experienced a 'shoot the messenger' mentality among cuckolded partners, and you have no reason to be that person. She may not believe you and then you would become the bad guy. Detail everything that happened but keep it anonymous. Then she can confront her husband or not, its in her court.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 January 2010):
Oh, his poor wife and daughters. And poor you too to have to put up with this man's drunk behaviour. If you can trust you mother, try talking to her about it, because she might be able to offer you a bit of support. I know if I was married and I had a wife who was cheating, I'd want to know. So I think you should tell his wife, but I would tell your mother first so you can have support for when you do it. If you do tell her make sure her daughters aren't around at that time.
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