A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in the trickest, most childish situation i have been in, in a long time.Im 19 years old and ive been best friends with two girls for a very long time. One is a childhood friend and has been there since birth, and the other i met in highschool and ive known since i was 12. Its been the three of us ever since.Though when i was 15, i met a boy on holiday that was from the same area as me, and i had just never crossed paths with, funny enough it took us to meet in a foreign country, but never met when we lived 10 minutes away from each other here in wales. Instantly we became best friends, and have been ever since. So my male best friend and female best friends crossed paths sometimes, but never really paid much interest in each other, so in the summer of 2009, we all got together and my one best friend hit it off with my male best friend. Eventually one month ago they became a couple, and i thought they were really happy, and i was really happy for both of them. Last week though we went to a house party, all four of us, and my boyfriend and his mates went aswell. (My boyfriend is a year older than me, and goes to a different university) Everything was fine, until my best friend got drunk. Everybody no's what she's like when shes drunk, she gets a bit loud, and strips off and can be quite embaressing, but everyone just accepts it.So my male best friend left the house party early as he wasnt feeling to good and being one of only sober people there he wasnt exactly having the best time. Then soon after me and my boyfriend left and he stayed at mine, next thing you no my boyfriend gets a call off one of his best mates saying that he slept with my best friend last night, and has only just realised shes got a boyfriend this morning, she never mentioned it to him, apparently he walked her home and when she got home she took her top off and bra, and said 'you cant turn me down now?'Its been nearly a week and i cant just forget about it, i dont know what to do. My best friend hasnt told me about it, my male best friend has no idea as she's acting like nothing happend, and my boyfriend and his friend has sworn me to secrecy. I just feel so bad that he's been betrayed like this, and that if she can do it once, what's stopping her from doing it again? Yet ive known this girl since birth, and i dont want to betray her either. Its so difficult as there both really close to me, and i no if it was me that got cheated on and my best friend found out and two other people new i would want to be told, but then i dont want to cause any trouble for my best friend, basically because i love her too pieces as a mate, and dont want to lose her, weve grown up together, and so i dont feel that i have the right to open my mouth and betray her.Also if i told my male best friend, it would be betraying my boyfriends trust, as his mates trusted him not to tell anyone, but my boyfriend felt he couldnt keep it from me, as then it would of caused problems for us in the long run, if it had came out and i found out he didnt trust me with something so serious. What would you do? Tell your male best friend and break your boyfriends trust, your best friends, and your boyfriends best friends trust.Or keep quiet and act like you dont know, to keep the peace, as what he doesnt know wont hurt him. Doing that feels so wrong though!Thanks in advance xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Find some way to tell him without him knowing it came from you.Write a letter on a computer saying something like..."ask your girlfriend where she went after the party the other night." or even more direct, "your girlfriend cheated on you the other night. Confront her and tell her the guy came clean with you and told you that he walked her home and slept with her."I'm sure your boyfriends mate told more people than just your boyfriend. You can always say it came from somewhere else. This way, you give the guy a heads up without getting involved.People here say not to tell him anything. That's wrong. Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather keep loving this girl without knowing she can't be faithful?
A
female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (6 April 2010):
 It's a tricky situation, but i'd have a quiet word with the girl. She's probaly feeling awful now and may need someone to talk to. You can discuss with her whether its better for her to tell her boyfriend what happened or not. Just make it clear your not happy with what shes done, and that you encourage her to tell him, but say your not getting involved, if she doesnt , she doesnt.
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A
male
reader, dyeruz +, writes (6 April 2010):
umm the fact that this girl is sleeping around like that and it may be unprotected, doesn't this guy have a right to know his health might be in jeopardy. Tell him on the low, this girl doesn't deserve any respect what so ever.
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A
female
reader, suicide apathetic  +, writes (6 April 2010):
hey i get what your trying to say but In my point of View i wouldnt say anything to him talk to her about it because if that brakes them up you never know they might Not want to beleive you or even yet not want anything to do with you . so say to her like Well u should let him know because it hurts me that u keep this from him and i cant keep it from him much longer
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A
female
reader, jaime90 +, writes (6 April 2010):
 rather then going to the boyfriend, i think you should go to the girl.
don't betray your boyfriend over this, in the end it has nothing to do with you.
if she is a real best friend, she would come to you for advice anyway.
don't feel bad, you have done nothing wrong. its tough to be in the middle of this situation, i have been before and i told my friend. i wish i never did, i got dragged into her and her boyfriends crap and in the end she wasn't appreciative that i told her and stayed with him anyway.
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