A
female
age
36-40,
*nly_In_Dreams
writes:Hi. I've been bestfriends with a guy for a year now. He'd always liked me and I wasn't sure. We just started dating a few months ago and I was in love with him before I even went out with him. He is just an amazing guy.I could never picture myself without him. I know this is love. It's not lust. He says he wants to be with me forever and I believe him. Because I want to be with him forever too. But the point it, I'm thinking about giving my virginity to him. Should I tell him that I want him to be my first or should I wait until he brings it up?The only reason I'd like to tell him is so that he knows it's ok. It's not like I want to plan it out. I know that no matter what happens, I want him to be my first. But what should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, les +, writes (16 May 2008):
If its his first time too, dont be suprised if it lasts about one or two minutes and its not all that great. In fact, after the first time I had sex, I called up my girlfriends and I said.. are you kidding? THATS what all the fuss is about? (of course, the guy kinda sucked too).
Anyway, my point is that if it falls incredibly short of your expectations, don't be dissapointed and dont let it make the relationship awkward. Its the first time, and like everything else, practice makes perfect ;)
A
female
reader, Only_In_Dreams +, writes (16 May 2008):
Only_In_Dreams is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah. He knows I am. And he's a virgin too. This has helped A LOT. Thanks!
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A
female
reader, les +, writes (16 May 2008):
Does he know you're a virgin?
I dont think you should state directly that you want him to be your first. Thats going to put a lot of pressure on him already, and honestly, the first time you have sex, it kinda sucks (it hurts, your confused, dont know what to do, etc...but it really does become amazing after some practice) and it might be too much pressure on him.
If I were you, and this is what I did (in fact, I didnt even want to tell my bf I was a virgin b/c he was older and I felt stupid), is that when you're making out or whatever, if he start to go further where you would normally stop him, dont. And you should also encourage him by initiating more physical contact, kissing him more passionatly, having your hands travel all over his body and get closer to his genitals. If that doenst work, try taking his hand and putting it on your breasts, or even leading it down so he knows what your implying. Obviously I dont know the extent of your physical relationship, but I hope you the point that I'm trying to make.. try to encourage him physically.. it will make it seem like you want him more physically than logically and that will make him feel really good. And it will also be more romantic b/c its going to come from the passion of the moment rather than from some logical discussion that happened before.
Hope this helps!
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