A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heyy guys i have been having a tough time as of late and i've had so many opinions on this i'm feeling a bit stuck so i'm hoping i can come to some conclusions on here. I broke up with my boyfriend of five months about a month and a half ago because we were arguing a lot in the last month, we'd both had enough of it and unlike me he wans't sure about what he wanted in the future and so if we did last we may not have wanted the same things later on. Although he was the one that put an end to it because i couldn't bring myself to let go and i wanted to give it another chance. But it ended on the Easter Sunday where we'd decided to have a week break after a huge discussion on it and he said he'd give it anohter go and following everyone saying it sounded like he was letting me down gently i broke the week break to ask and he said he was now feeling doubtful and wanted it to end.Since, i've been very up and down as to be expected, although i've over the past two weeks been really wanting to tell him how i feel as of late now i've had a lot of time to look back. I realied i took him so much for granted and didn't even recognise all the sacrifices he made for me, i was clingey and i brought up arguments on the most stupid things. And i so desperataly now want to tell him i miss him and that i realised what a b**** i was towards the end and that even if it's not with me i want him to find a girl who see's how amazinf he is. My friends say i should move on and a part of me wants to, but a huge part of me doens't want to let go and i've been so miserable since we ended, i haven't been happy most of the time and when another guy comes too close to me i absolutely hate it and i hate the idea of being with another guy. So i'm torn. I don't know if i should be honest with my ex and if he says he doens't want anything more now that's fine and i can get more closure. He told me he misses me a lot and that he's been miserable too. But part of me doesn't want to tell him, i'm not sure why. But i'm not sure if all this is just part of break up or if the feelings are genuine and i should act on them. What should i do? I just really miss him, life seems dull without him and i just feel ... empty and broken.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (7 June 2011):
Hi there. Maybe you could write him a letter telling him how you have come to realize how you took him for granted and treated him badly.
It would be nice for him to know.
Just say all that you said here about it, and that you believe he deserves better than how you treated him. Apologise sincerely, but don't be overbearing.
Wish him well in the future.
As long as you write straight from the heart, you can't go wrong.
I'm not saying that it will get you back together, but it is likely to make peace in your own heart anyway.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): These feelings are part of breaking up. It happens to the best and strongest of us.
If he can't make up his mind or has already decided he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, there's no point in trying to convince him or complicating the situation. He made it clear with his "break" and the comments he made about not wanting to be with you that he's either noncommittmental or just doesn't want to commit to you.
I think it's best if you work on you -- immerse yourself with the things and people you love -- and forget about him. Break ups are hard, confusing times, but you'll get through.
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