A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for only 3 months, but we've known each other for a few years. We would hang out because I was friends with his sister and cousin. He always liked me and I liked him too, but we stopped hanging out and nothing ever happened. Eventually I saw him again at a party and long story short we're dating now.It was somewhat long distance but not huge- he lived about 2 hours away so I would see at least every other weekend if not every weekend. He moved back home a couple weeks ago (same town as me) and we've been with each other every chance we can (which is daily, majority of the day).For the past couple days I feel like I don't have as much feelings for him anymore. It's tearing me apart and scaring me to death thinking about how I used to feel when I'd look at him and how I've lost that love feeling I guess. I don't know if its because we don't have time to miss each other and our relationship is more routine or if i'm generally just losing feelings.I'd been so happy before and I really want it to come back! I dont want my feelings to go away and I definitely don't want to break up. I still care about him a lot, have no thoughts of anyone else and just want him. I think I'm making it worse because every time I think about him I think about how I'm not sure if I love him anymore and it makes it so much worse. I dont know how to stop and it's making me feel sick. We've been fighting a lot lately and I thought maybe that has something to do with it. Its over stupid things (we both get easily jealous and can be controlling but its both our faults). I'm also starting my period soon I think so I'm hoping maybe I'm being weird because of hormones (thats probably me just trying to be positive).It's really tearing me apart and I don't know what to do about it. Is it normal to just lose feelings for someone for no apparent reason overnight? Maybe I just realized it and it seemed overnight because I didn't realize it before? and has this ever happened to anyone and the feelings came back? I would love to hear from anyone whos been in a similar situation, or anyone at all. I just feel like I need to get it out of my mind and itll be better but it makes me feel sick.
View related questions:
cousin, jealous, long distance, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (7 June 2011):
Hi there. It does seem like as you said, you are spending too much time together.
Perhaps also, when you are hanging out together, you're not doing anything that's fun. Maybe you just sit around and watch tv.
Why not try to cut back on how much time you do spend together to say once or twice a week only. Then in between those two times that you get together, just one phone call. Let him call you - don't call him.
Another really useful thing to do I find, is to write a journal of your life. Like writing into a diary, but use a ruled exercise book instead.
What you do is write the day and date and underline it at the top of the page, then below it write all your thoughts and feelings about what is and has been happening on that day. You are sharing all of it with the universe (or God), and the wonderful thing is a whole lot of stuff gets revealed to you while you are doing it. After a short time, the information really flows. Write down everything that's on your mind at the moment.
You might write a couple of sentences at some times, and other days you will find you write pages and pages. It actually feels like you are talking to someone.
Then whenever you feel the need to talk, get out your journal and write in it. The idea is no-one but you knows what's being said. But it's incredibly therapeutic, as you will see.
Because all the stuff you write in there, you would never tell anyone anyway. It's your innermost thoughts and feelings, which has no relevance to anyone else on the planet. You wouldn't even share that kind of stuff with him. It's way too personal.
Try it, because it's really worth it. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 i have had this feeling loads of times! sometimes its because of a sometimes i can pin it to an exact moment, when the guy has done or said something that makes me think 'oh, no. he's not right for me!' or sometimes its because i get bored with them, or we seem to have differences and disagreements that become apparent only as we get to know each other more.
i guess all the arguments have taken their toll on the way you feel about him. your jealousy obviously causes you to think negatively about the relationship, his jealousy probably frustrates you. WHY are you both jealous? do you give each other any real cause? you are also right in what you are saying about premenstrual bad moods!
i think though that you have gotten to know him better over the last few months and you find he is not as perfect as you one thought
x
...............................
|
