A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:[OP original title]Hi there, So I have had a very tumultuous relationship and subsequent friendship with this guy for 2 years. Recently, with the wonderful advice from the good people on DC I have decided to just walk away. For the past little bit I have been ignoring his phone calls, texts and emails, and predictably he is laying it on thick. Part of our problem is that he was involved with someone when we met and lied to me about it. A couple of months ago someone that he had started seeing had emailed his gf and myself. I didn't bother answering as I did not want to get involved with that drama. His gf ended up talking to this person. He and his gf are trying to work things out I guess....he goes to see her Friday. For the past couple of days I have been getting texts on my cell and I think they are from his gf. Shld I tell him about the texts b/c I wld like them to stop? When the gf got the texts a few months ago, he thought I had sent them, which pisses me off. I worry that if I say anything he is going to accuse me again. On top of all of this someone has been trying to get into his email for months now....I keep saying that it is prob his gf as she wants to know what is going on, bu he refuses to acknowledge that. I would like the texts to stop b/c I don't want to deal with this situation anymore. So, should I tell him about them and hope he says something to her? Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): No. I think if you don't want the drama or to put yourself in the position to get accused of doing things you didn't do (& cannot prove you're innocent of), then KEEP QUIET! I applaude that you have chose to ditch the morally challanged dude in favor of a drama-free life. Good job! But I think you know that if you bring this up it may very well backfire & you'll be worse off for it. My skewed version of the consequenses of confronting anyone about this is you're going to look like the guilty party just by bringing it up, seemingly out of nowhere. You said you cut contact pretty much off with him? Well, if you're not even sure it's her yet you just show up out of the blue with stories of her doing things he wouldn't put passed you doing yourself, he's going to think you're just jealous he's trying to work it out with his ex and that you're the crazy stalker. Or at least that's what I would most likely be thinking. Anyway, if he truly doesn't know who's doing it & you truly don't know who sending those msgs, then I say it's safe to assume it his girlfriend. No need to point it out to him. She's going to be paranoid for the remainder of thier relationship so when it coninues long after your involvement, he'll know it's her and you'll still have your good name. As for the messages you're recieving- why can't you send a reply yourself asking them to stop? If that's not possible- just ignore them. They will eventually stop or if they don't just chalk it up to her focusing her (misdirected) blame on you instead of him for problems in the relationship. And then maybe I would talk to HER, not him and let her know I'm sorry but she's barking up the wrong tree & leave me alone from now on. But either way, I probably wouldn't blame her much if I were you. She might not know that you were an unwitting accomplice, not a calulating tramp that most women would envision the woman that our (ex or current) man is/was sleeping with. But this is all sheer assumption. I couldn't possibly have this much insight into your situation but I still hope it helps you in your dilema, even just a little bit. Good luck to you in life.
A
female
reader, Practical  +, writes (11 August 2010):
this guy is really messed up ..
Don't tell him that u are getting those text messages.. he WILL think that u are trying to win him back ..
just try to ignore the messages or contact the phone company to block the sender, if that service is provided by your phone company ..
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