A
female
age
30-35,
*ntoyour_arms
writes:Hi everyone. My boyfriend and I have been going out for just over 5 months and I'm his first serious girlfriend. I've asked him about his ex-girlfriends and he answers me honestly but the other night when I asked him when he and his last girlfriend spilt up and why, he just told me about 5 months before we got together and it was 'complicated'. He finally told me that he has never just had 1 girlfriend, before me, he was always hooking up with other girls while in a relationship. Also, when we first started seeing each other, he didn't really want a long term thing but then changed his mind about it because he really likes me. He was the first to say I love you and he said he has never said it to any of his other girlfriends. I'm just really worried that he's going to cheat on me, should I tell him about my insecurities?
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male
reader, macdubh712  +, writes (10 April 2011):
Cupidus is right; there's a bit of "no nonsense" advice. Also, if you know that he used to hook with other girls while having a girlfriend but he changed his mind about not wanting to have a long term relationship then I say it is likely worth giving a chance to. Just don't let your guard down. Protect yourself from too much emotional pain. What I'm saying is, let him earn your trust. You can be subtle about it but don't let him walk all over you and don't stand for being disrespected. **I say, tell him of your insecurities and see how he reacts.** If seems genuinely concerned then this is a thumbs up. If downplays the importance of your feelings then take this as a sign. If he is concerned then see what does he do afterward to help lessen your insecurities.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Just tell him, that if he has to move on to let you know, that you will understand. This way if either of you want to move on there will be no lies, no hiding, no insecurities.It'll hurt sure, life does from time to time. But it'll hurt a lot less than knowing you've been living a lie for some months or years. As for the "I love you" that's nice, smile and say thanks.But it really means "you've made me experience a depth I haven't felt from others or even myself" Leave it there, because all of us will experience depth with persons on many levels and will continue for the rest of your life.Just be happy that you effected someone positively, like a good song. Don't stop sharing, spread the love. Always be kind and wise.
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