A
female
age
41-50,
*ess_82
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2years now. He is really an amazing guy most of the time but I feel he really may not be ready to take our relationship to the next level. For e.g, I wanted to use him as my contact in case of an emergency but he gave all sorts of excuses to avoid it. He later agreed saying he was scared that it was too much responsibility and did not know if our relationship was ready for that.The thing is he usually comes around but I am tired of having to go through this. I have met his entire family (he has 2 brothers and one sister) and they are all really nice (especially his mum) so I am getting mixed messages. Is he really serious or is he afraid of a commited relationship, in which case, should I leave now? How long should a girl wait for a guy to propose?
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female
reader, jess_82 +, writes (10 April 2011):
jess_82 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so so much for your replies. I truly do love him. I guess I should be patient.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 I really am not sure if there is a time limit on love.I think that when you love someone, you kinda always do.I know many relationships are based out of fear.Fear they won't get married.Fear they will be left.Fear that they are not the right person.Fear that eventually breaks down relationships into a smattering of wishfull thinking and illusion.Today just hold hands and smile and comfort.Tomorrow do it again, and maybe you'll do it for eternity.But today is all you have, tomorrow will take care of itself.
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A
female
reader, amazingk  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Instead of hanging around "waiting for him to propose", why not try simply enjoying the relationship you're in? He'll propose when he's ready and in the meanwhile use this time to determine if this is REALLY a man that you could envision yourself married to for the long haul.
You have to think beyond the pretty white dress and the ceremony. What you have now is what you'll have after you get married, and it could get better or worse depending on how you guys treat your relationship. Take your time because there really is no hurry to get tied down to a person forever. Besides, he doesn't want to make a commitment that he doesn't truly feel he can live up to, and no man wants to feel like their woman is just trying to have him fill the position of husband rather than being with him because she truly loves him for who he is.
But on the flip side, if being married is THAT important to you, then no one can tell you how long you should wait. You'll have to set your own timeframe on that one. Just know that if you leave him because he won't propose, there's no guarantee that that move is going to speed up your chances of getting married. It might just delay it, as it takes time to meet a quality individual that's interested in you as well. Then you have to date for a few more years, etc... You get the idea. Sometimes a bird in the hand truly is worth more than the bird in the bush! Enjoy what you have, love who you're with, and trust that the rest will take care of itself.
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