A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(sorry that this is quite long)OK well i go to an all girls school but we have a boys school next door.I have fancied loads of boys and this is the first time i have had a crush on a girl. Recently i have realised i have a crush on one of my best friends. I think i might be Bi and she is too. She only recently came out to her closest friends so if i told them i thought i was bi too they would either think i was copying her or that i fancied her. She also got together with a boy in the last two weeks so it wouldnt be appropriate to tell her i fancied her now.As far as i know no-one in our group has a problem with gay or Bi people as 2 of the girls in our group has Bi BoyfriendsWe have both been kissed by girls on the lips (no tongues). She isnt shy about this and neither am i as i did not initiate the kiss. Should i tell her if her relationship ends or just forget about it as it might alienate me from the group if they thought it was weird?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much for your answers they are really helpful
xxx
A
female
reader, thats_not_my_name +, writes (14 July 2008):
 hey! although i've never been in this situation before, some of my friends have and i would warn you to be careful. i go to an all girls school too and last year two of my close friends went out with each other after deciding that they were bi which was fine......until they split up! it completely ruined their friendship for a while and it was really sad for me to see them hate each other. this is always a danger of going out with a friend..breakups can get messy! so without wanting to sound patronising in any way, i would be careful. being a teenager is really confusing and your emotions are all over the place and you may be unsure about your orientation. especially as you go to an all girls school....the shortage of boys can sometimes drive you mad (i've been there!)however if you are really sure about your feelings for her, then by all means tell her AFTER her relationship with this boy (if of course you still feel the same way!) just be prepared for the fact that she might not like you back or feel comfortable having a relationship with her. Good luck, i hope you make the right decision...hope my advice was vaguely helpful! xxxxx
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (14 July 2008):
 I thinking having romantic feelings for a best friend are more common than you think. The reason you start having feelings for a best friend is because you know the person deeply, you trust them, and you have been throught with them a lot and you know that no matter what, they'll be there for you.
Now at your age, your hormones are going crazy. You might start getting crushes over boys you never thought you could find attractive or start feeling things that are confusing.
What I suggest you here is to make sure your feelings for your friend are real and not just a passing crush. Take a while to make sure of this, like a couple of months or so, even if she brakes her relationship in that time, just make sure they're real. Now if they are, tell her. I don't think you would lose anything because even if she doesn't reciprocate the feelings, she will still be your friend. But if you do share the same feeling, I don't think whatever anyone says should matter to you two, because you'll be in a loving relationship. Just remember to just care of your feelings for her and no matter what, to never give in to the comments of others.
Good luck with everything!
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