A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hii want to ask your help. i have a 13yo cous who is pretty clingy. and by mean clingy, i mean like hugging (tightly), grabbing my arm, etc.sure shes sweet and i love that she adores me but im just wondering, should i teach her some modesty? you know, because she has boobs now, and it cant be helped that they always touch me with her being clingy.im not really embarassed/affected by it (most of the time ; but hey who cant be totally unaffected?) since we grew up together, but im just wondering for your opinion. and no, shes not like this with other guys (at least not to my extent)cheers
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): There's no need to say anything, just divert the behaviour. "Hey, it's good to see you too, let's go and ..., [physically untangle her and go and do ...]".
It's a stage of development. Give her five years and there's a good chance that withdrawn and hostile will be her typical interaction style. That's a lot harder to cope with.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 I did not say she is a child - I said she is a minor, how she undeniably is.
And , most of all, she is a cousin. A family member.
I was a very busty girl myself. Did my male cousins or uncles notice it, did they think about my breasts ? What about ,a few years later , my brother in law, my father in law ?...
The answer is : I don't know- I have no idea and am very GLAD that I have no idea. I hope not, I hope, maybe naively, that they all saw me just as a relative and not as an object of sexual desire , but- if they ever did, again, I am very glad they had the common sense and tact never to bring it to my attention . So that I always could feel safe and respected in their company .
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A
female
reader, xoxocutie  +, writes (28 May 2011):
it is absolutely ridiculous to say that he is having naughty thoughts about that girl.....13 years old is NOT a gal.A 13 year old IS a child and she should understand this.....he should just be telling the girl to stop holding or grabbing him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): She already knows about modesty. That is why she doesn't go around being overly affectionate with all guys. She is only behaving that way with men in her circle of trust, which is usually family men such as fathers and brothers. She is being like that with you because she trusts you and thinks she can still be a little girl around you and show her love without having to be concerned about anything bad happening to her. You are being honoured actually. Because she feels she is safe with you and doesn't have to worry about anything, bless her. As she gets older it will all stop.For now if her boobs are in the way just shift yourself so you aren't in direct contact with them and think brotherly thoughts and know that she loves you (in a pure, innocent way) and she trusts you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (28 May 2011):
Can't you just tell her to stay off you, without necessarily having to shame her bringing up her boobs and her " modesty " ?
Sure she is 13 and perhaps her hormones are having the best on her , which could be the cause of these excessive
displays of affection. But, it's not her fault, she is not purposedly trying to seduce you. This craving for physical contact is very typical of her age and comes way more from wanting attention from adults to her as a person, than to her as a person with boobs. It's not her fault if you have naughty thoughts about a minor.
Not mentioning the possibility that, au contraire, this touchyfeelingness is still totally chldish and innocent, - you'd look totally like a malicious fool.
So, just tell her : don't grab me, or don't hold me, I don't want my physical space invaded . It will be enough.
And go do stuff with girls your age, it will take your mind off your little cousin's boobs.
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