A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I reported my ex-teacher, who I had/have a crush on, for misconduct about a month ago, and now I want to talk to him, but I don't know if he will talk to me. We were really good friends up until that point, and we'd talk every three or four weeks.A year and a half ago, I was alone w/ this teacher a night in the school's back sound/lighting epipment rooms during a school play that I ran the lights for, but plenty of people, including his wife, were in the actual theater nearby. It was dark and we had been talking. When the conversation died out, he was staring at my legs (I had one of those really short skirts on), and then he just reached his hand out, ran it from my knee to the hemline of the skirt, felt the hemline, and then ran it back to my knee. Then he looked at my face (I had been watching his face, not his hand), stood up, and left....?Well, I finally decided to report him for misconduct, b/c I saw him one day talking to this group of freshman girls, and I couldn't stop picturing him doing the same thing with them. I guess it was a bit of 'scorned lover' syndrom, or rather 'scorned wannabe-lover'. Anyhow, I made a statement for the school, and an investigator questioned me about the incident. I know they talked to him, also.I saw him two days after I was questioned, so I don't know if they had talked to him yet. I'm guessing they had, though, b/c we just stared at each other for a few seconds. Usually he would have said 'hi' or smiled or something. (It was during a play rehersal, and I went to the theater to measure something, so we were both busy, but.... still.)Should I talk to him or not? I keep using the vending machines right outside his office in hopes of running into him, but it hasn't happened yet. Would he be angry if I tried to talk to him?
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female
reader, Amy2007x  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Why would you want to talk to him? He felt ur leg an everthing, if u want to talk to him like normal then y did you complain?
Although, i did however complain on my teacher as me and another group of people didnt think that he was teaching us, being in his class was like having a free period and with an exam cumin up in his subject and with all of us being clue less we complained, the school handled it very inapproiately and told him it was us, well anyhoo, like you, we looked at each other and never really done anytrhing if you get me, but anyways i felt like i had to talk to him, so i did and he said to me that he wasnt going to hold a grudge against me because that would be very hyricitical as he goes to church blah blah blah then i appoligised, i have no idea why, i think it is because i liked him at tyhe time and i felt like i had betrayed his trust and that and then i was like ''look im orry ok, i jst wanted you to teach my class, im so annoyed i feel like crying,'' then he hugged me, it was rather sweet then after tht it seems liek we have got closer etc etc, but anyways the other people that also complained on him were treated kindda bad, he would moan at them for nothing and made one of them drop out of the subject and then forced another to go elsewhere as she felt like she was gettin picked on so i dno, i mean he was fine with me after it but not them, he is ok with them now though, anyways pointless lil story i hope i helped a bit, but your suituation is kindda a big bigger then mine i mean i complained as he wasnt teachin the class, you complained as he kindda applied tht he wnted more outta this pupil-teacher relationship, I however wouldnt want to talk to the man again, consider it as a lucky escape i mean he could forced you to stay then what woulda happened that night? look its really up to you, but i doubt if you did try n talk to him he wouldnt be so pleasant, and also what is the school gonna think, when they see you talkin to him, there gonna probs think that you made it up... do u get wht im sayin?
Okay im gonna go im starting to write like a hige para here, mail me if u wanna chat
Amy
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): If he is capable of crossing that line with you even in spite of the fact that he is married, he is a teacher there to protect you, and that you are underage, then yes I think judging by his character he probably is mad. He doesn't understand the concept of boundaries. So by that same token I am sure he doesn't acknowledge that he is in any way wrong. He shouldn't be mad at you. He should only be mad at himself and if anything owes you an apology. But I am sure he doesn't understand that or would ever admit to that.
But that is not your fault in any way, shape or form. You did the right thing. In fact if anything more would have happened he could have really emotionally hurt you alot. He doesn't sound like a good guy or a guy who is after your best interest. You are lucky you did report him. I don't think you should talk to him again cause he is way older than you, and you are very vulnerable and so he may try to manipulate you to feel guilty. I am telling you he is not a good person. Hopefully you won't ever have to see him again if the school fires him. I would stay away from him at all costs.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm starting to accept that I did the right thing by reporting him, but I still really like him, as a friend if nothing else. Maybe we won't even talk about what happened. I just want to talk to him again and make sure everything's okay. The investigation started a month ago and has closed already... and I miss him. Would he want to even make small talk, or would he just be angry with me? Again, we really were good friends.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (3 February 2008):
 I think this incident has been handed over to the investigation department. Leave it there. You didn't do anything wrong. He was the one with wondering fingers, and it was right to turn him in. You also did so for the right reasons. Not just because of what happened to you, but seeing the possability of his behaivor affecting others as well. That's something to be proud of.
A big reason not to try to talk to him. If you go in and begin acting friendly toward him, the beliefs may change with the investigation. They may see you as someone who provoked his behavior, or even initiated it. Reason being, a victim of sexual assual, generally doesn't make an effort to be close to the abuser.
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