A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I don't know how to start this. I'm a 19 years old girl and I've never had a boyfriend before.I met a guy at school, we barely talked though. once there was a camping event, and we ended up cuddling one night. We didn't talk about it at all. when we see each other, we just say hi. It didn't bother me, cause all i wanted that night is someone to stay with me for a while. The problem is, after 2 months, we ended up doing the same thing. this time was a little more than only "innocent cuddles"; but still no real sex, you know. I do enjoy my time with him.We both are single; I guess I'm not really interested in having a bf right now, I mean i'm just afraid it may affect my studies.. However, sleeping next to a guy who is not my bf is not something i've pictured myself doing before.Should I talk to him about what happened between us? i just dont know what to do. To be honest, i guess i want us to be friends, and cuddle from time to time, but i'm too shy to tell him that.. PS: i dont want to really have sex with him though (dont juge me guys, but i believe in no sex out of marriage)
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 December 2017):
 Okay I think what you need to do is to sit down with him and talk to him. It is time to be honest with him and tell him where he and you stand.
You have said you don't want a boyfriend at the moment because off studies but does he know this? You need to make sure that he knows so that you are not leading him on. So be straight with him and tell him.
As for cuddling well it is harmless enough, but you have done more than cuddling which suggests that it is more than friends. Again you need to set boundaries. Be honest with him tell him you like him as a friend, you enjoy cuddling ect but also make it clear to him what you don't want to do, and that you don't believe in sex before marriage.
As you can see from me answer, everything is about communication and being open and honest with each other.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (27 November 2017):
 I totally get wanting to have a cuddle buddy, but it'll be hard to find one because most people your age want more than just cuddles - that's why you're unlikely to just stumble across one. Put "find a cuddle buddy" into a search engine.
cuddlecomfort.com
cuddlecompanions.org
Just be cautious about meeting people online.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 November 2017):
 I doubt that he would be interest in being JUST your cuddle buddy . It sounds like he took the first available chance to excalate it from innocent cuddles to something more ( and btw , I'd be curious to know what is " not real sex ": if you mean there has been no penetration,... there are dozens of sexual acts which do not involve penetration yet are real sex. Regradless of Bill Clinton's opinion :).
The fact that the episodes happened 2 months from each other , and that in the meantime all your friendship is limited to saying hi to each other, suggests me that in any case he is not too bothered to be your ANYTHING. Whether it be a friend, a cuddle buddy, - or even a fuck buddy.
It seems it's a veeery casual thing, like, whenever it happens you two find yourselves in each other's close proximity... he sees what 's in there from him , from copping a feel to something more substantial.
Of course if you want to talk to him and tell him what you want,- you can do that, it's not against the law. But I strongly doubt that he will be interested in any specific arrangement with you, or if he is, that he won't use it just to test your boundaries and induce you to stretch them.
I'd let it be and focus on my studies and on °real° friends. What do you need him for ? You don't want a boyfriend; you don't want a sex partner. And if you want a friend... a good friend is not one who just paws you all over on the sly and mostly ignores you the rest of the time.
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A
female
reader, Nora1 +, writes (27 November 2017):
I would advise you to have a word with him. This can make you feel better and can clear all the misunderstanding between you two. If you find yourself hesitating in telling him the things that is in your mind, then you can consult experts who can guide you correctly and can make you feel better. Hope this helps you.
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