A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a man.Immediate chemistry and connection.He is married but it is open.I was and am fine with that as I have my own situation which is open as well.He just wanted sex. But clearly liked me more than that at one point as he mentioned it.I pushed, demanded, and was a kill joy thus it turned into strictly sex.After sex I always act weird because I wish he would like me the way he did in the beginning and instead of being patient I freak out and push him away.We have been back and fourth for about 3 years. Only talking a few times a year...because of my behavior above.Here is the thing. I can only stay gone for around 2 months.I know this man does not want me, at all. He probably is no longer attracted to me.I haven't spoken to him in 2 months and he is on my mind again.He was in my dream last night. I can't shake this man. I feel such a connection on a deeper level.If I could see him tonight I would do it but he is on the other side of the world. How can I move on? Why is this happening? I thought about it being the thrill of the chase but for YEARS?How can I get him out of my system and leave him in the past!!!?
View related questions:
move on, no longer attracted Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2017):
op here
thank you anon! i appreciate your honesty. I agree with everything you said
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2017): Lets say both of you were single, same rules apply. He wants sex only, you want more. Your neediness has probably turned him off. As if you were single, you need to cut contact and move on I think. He is only going back for the sex.
PS I have a someopen relationship and the aunts & uncles on here are not fans of that LOL, you wont get objective answers there on that subject.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2017): OP here
wiseowl...my lifestyle is my lifestyle, simply because you aren't familiar, does not make it "nonsense." There is a lot of love that comes with an open-relationship. It is not some sex-filled orgy.
You had some good points and I thank you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2017): I meant to say:
"Get some counseling about your issues with men."
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2017): He has now become an addiction. Like smoking or drugs, you have to kick the habit cold-turkey. Stop giving-in.
Seriously?!! What's the use???
Go back and read your post. You mentioned several good reasons to let go. He only wants sex. He's probably not as attracted as he once was; and you're struggling for and craving something more emotionally-connected.
You've got issues with commitment. Thus that nonsense with an "open-situation" and friends-with-benefit arrangements; that are basically meaningless when you come down to it.
It's not what you want, it's what the men want.
If your marriage was worth anything but convenience; that should be all you need. Seems you're not happy or fulfilled in any area of your love-life.
If a marriage has to be open, it's missing something you have to find elsewhere. You're searching for meaning and you need your feelings reciprocated.
Get a divorce (if your "situation" happens to be a husband); and quit the married-guy cold-turkey. You've got to go through the emotional-withdrawal and resist the cravings.
Take a long break as a single and independent-woman. Get some cancelling about your issues with men. You seem to want the one who rejects you, and can't fully connect with the man you married. You have an "arrangement;" rather than a real relationship with either man.
You're not getting what you truly desire and need. Someone who truly wants you, and only you. So you settle for whatever crumbs men throw you.
...............................
|
