A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my bf for over 4 years and although it hasn't been easy, i love him dearly. My best friend, who introduced us, has recently told me that my bf is going to propose soon. The thing is, I think my best friend, my soulmate, and I have feelings for each other. My 'safe' option is to marry my bf, but my heart tells me I need to know if my best friend is 'the one'. We had one night together 3 years ago, just holding each other, but we felt so guilty. He then went into a relationship and is now single again. I've never stopped loving him. What should I do?
View related questions:
best friend, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, goodbutnotgifted  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Why are you even with your bf? if his buddy and you are in love? I wonder what it must be like for him to find out your secret, he is going to porpose, sais he loves you, but you dont even care about him, your after the friend. sounds like your bf deserves an explanation of why he's been fooled and you need to think about your position in this relatiopnship. I mean 4+ years and all of a sudden, "I can't marry you because I am in love with your friend."? can you see my point? My aunt told my uncle she never loved him after they had two kids and nearly 20 years together. he's in the obituary as a suicide in PA. I would have been too. people have feelings, not just you, and the decisions you make effect those feelings, thats why the indians used to consider speach a responsibility, you should see how they felt about sex! maybe we are'nt mature enough for love. I hope this helps you realize its time to think about being honest aboput your feelings even if it hurts some one, like when you were hooking up 4 years ago for instance, could have saved 4 years and your falceless bf a heart break.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 If you get married my guess is you're always going to wonder what if and if you ever get the opportunity to give it a go with your friend you won't think twice about cheating on your husband to do so. You need to have a serious cards on the table chat with your best friend. Tell him exactly how you feel and see what he says but whatever the outcome if you have even the slightest feeling for someone else it suggests to me that your boyfriend isn't the right one for you. Marriage should be sacred and we should be sure before we do it so you owe it to yourself, your boyfriend and your best friend to be sure that you're doing the right thing.
CD
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007): Don't marry anyone because you feel they are the safe option. Life is too short to go for the safe options. Do you love your bloke? There has to be something more there than that. If he does propose then explain you cannot accept because you are not sure. If he loves you he will understand. But you have to ask yourself - just what do you want.
Take care
xx
...............................
|
