A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There's a woman I like and we have gone out together a couple of times. I make a point of keeping in touch with this woman through e-mail and phone calls. She seems responsive to me and even encourages me to stay in touch, and she seems happy to meet and go out. However, I find that I am always the person who has to initiate everything. I am always the person to contact her, suggest we go out, and so forth. Sometimes I wish she would take the initiative and contact me or suggest we meet up. I often think it would be a "sign" that she really likes me if she would take the initiative and make contact.I continue to be the one who reaches out to her and it makes me feel that maybe she is not as interested in me as I am in her. I guess I am confused as to whether this woman just likes me to take the initiative, or if she doesn't really like me at all.Am I wasting my time? Confused in Baltimore. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): You're not neccessarily wasting time, but I do think she might be taking the "chase" to an extreme. Women are advised all the time to play coy and not to initiate. It's unfortunately a gender role that some women take too seriously. There are a couple possibilities:1) She likes you and particularly likes your attention.2) She likes your attention, but isn't interested in extending herself or making herself vulnerable to rejection.3) She's dating other people simultaneously and is waiting to see how serious you want the relationship to be.Sounds like it's time for the WUWU talk: "What's up with us?" You should either talk to her....or I suggest you hold off on initiating activities for a while and see how she reacts. You'de probably get an honest answer if you did the latter. Good luck.-Resident Agony Aunt in Bmore
A
female
reader, NoControl +, writes (19 April 2011):
I'm in a similar situation but I'm the girl "chasing" the guy!! I've stopped pursuing him right now, even though it's killing me, ugh. I'm always the 1st to text and show initiative. It's annoying now. I want/need to know he cares. So I hold out but for how long is anyone's guess. I despise childish games, wastes time ya know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): OMG!!!!!!!!!! ARE U BLIND??? She LIKES you...its soooo obvious!...I think she's just a bit conscious to give her heart away..well since its precious..being protective is not her fault..You would need to ask her out OFFICIALLY!!!
Good Luck
:)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 April 2011):
 Women are taught not to chase men they really like.
Have you told her you would like her to initiate contact or suggest date activities?
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 Stop dreaming, forget about looking for ``signs'', get out there and be straight forward with her. You can't know what she is thinking. There is no other way I can think of to know if she really likes you as you would like her to. All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): In other words stop sitting there wondering and cut to the chase.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): Some people are just crap at keeping contact, never take this kind of thing as a sign. Yes, you should just go for broke. You have nothing to lose, she may just be one of these girls that has no initiative or she may be waiting and hoping you'll keep pursuing her and actually step up and take it further. Most women like to be chased, some will share the workload, others expect you to do everything.
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