A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm 33 with two kids. I've recently become engaged. My Fiance has a daughter of his own and wants us to move in together. We really don't have any big issues, we don't argue that much and when we do, he always tells me 'lets talk about it and not let it simmer'. My only problem is that my 15yrold says she doesn't want to loose me to his daughter, neither does she want to share me. I'm feeling confused about moving in with my fiance. Is this normal or should I take some more time and analyze my situation for my kids sake before i move in?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLittle Goth and Anonymous Thank you both for such beautiful responses!
A
male
reader, little_goth_bladez +, writes (17 September 2008):
start by waiting a while then maybe ask your daughter if she wouldnt mind so much if you and your daughter had days to spend with each other like one on one family session fun day kind of things where your fiance is with his daughter your with yours for the day no interuptions no conflicts and try to see if you can make it so you dont make the girls sleep near each others rooms or try not sleeping in the same room as your fiance for a month or so
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): I think you should wait a little while, my mom started dating someone new and even though I was 20 then it was really really hard for me to see her with him. The worst part was when he would stay over and if she told me they were going to live together I would have moved out, well I did actually move out becasue he was always there and I didnt like it. I really like him as a person it just hard I think for kids to see their parents starting a new life and we think everything is going to change when maybe it wont in every case but I can see how my mom's life has changed a lot and how our relationship is not the same at all as it used to be. I'm not saying this is all going to happen with you and your daughter becasue it could go all different and be fine but I just wanted to let you know my opinion. If anything just make sure to keep a good relationship with your daughter and dont let her think everything is going to change and make sure you still spend a lot of time with her because that is probably the biggest thing. Hope it all works out good for you!
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