A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so I like this girl who is one of my best friends. when we first met we started something it wasn't serious but that ended due to me and hers mental health issues. anyway we stayed friends and we're really close talk everyday, tell each other everything just best friends. However, I've fallen for her and fallen badly and I told her that I'm in love with her but said I just wanted her to know cause I know she doesn't feel the same, and we've been the same since as we were before. On new years she told me she could see her marrying me (she was sober) and told me I mean more to her than her ex boyfriend. She seems to be scared to do anything incase our friendship is ruined. However, I'm finding it really hard when we're not around each other and I don't want to go on nights out with her incase she gets close to a guy cause shes perfectly fine to but I know it'll hurt me.Should I take a step back and distance myself from her? I feel like if not I'll end up getting more hurt or saying something that ruins our friendship anyway
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2017):
 I willl marry you xx
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (14 January 2017):
 A girl who blows hot and cold like that is going to cause you a lot of heartache... it's cruel of her to say something that strong and then do a complete U-turn...
There are billions of people out there to get to know... I advise do keep your distance and explain that you want to overcome your romantic feelings. Take up a new hobby, something that occupies your mind- this is meditative and will take your thoughts off her if you make effort to get into it
Weirdly enough my bf talks to his best friend everyday on fb, that he says he USED to have feelings for... and a counsellor i used to have worked with her ex husband (LOL)
Maybe, MAYBE in the future you could acheive friendship level. BUT at this stage you can't be regularly talking to her, or you wont be able to begin the getting over period.
So give it 2-3 months no contact, keep LIVING your life.. ONLY when your feelingss are dulled, you may be able to talk to her in a casual way. Maybe not 2-3 months HOWEVER long i takes....
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (13 January 2017):
 You two really need to sit down and have a serious heart-to-heart conversation. It is not fair of her to string you along, saying she can see herself marrying you, then in the next breath say she does not care for you like you do for her. You need to find out what she really feels about you, then you can make an informed decision on how best to proceed.
If she says she only wants to be friends, you probably WOULD be best distancing yourself from her as you two have different agendas. You need to find yourself someone who is into you as much as you are them - and leave her to find someone who she sees more than just a friend.
Good luck.
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