A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Married a year and this is both our second marriages. I don't have a relationship with my ex other than child related conversations over the phone. My husbands ex is one of his oldest friends. During our courtship she was rude,intrusive and very disrespectful to me. She clearly wanted him back in some sort of way. Never sticking to the healthy boundaries we requested. Eventually I had to ask him to please stop his relationship with her and leave it to contacting her only on her birthday. It's been over a year now, I've matured and become more comfortable with our relationship and its strength. My husband is a shy and sensitive man with very few friends and he never had children. Should I support him in trying to revive his relationship with her? Any thoughts? He thinks its not a good idea because of how much stress and angst it caused me before. I'm hoping now we're married that the dynamic will change with her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2014): Absolutely NOT.
Keep her out of your life. And I mean permanently.
He has you. He has his family. And he can make new friends.
And do not waiver on this decision.
A
female
reader, Miss Lou +, writes (7 November 2014):
Do not support him reviving a friendship with her. She sounds like a manipulative person with bad boundaries.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): I agree with previous posters.
Not a good idea.
She is disrespectful. The fact that you are married now won't probably matter much.
I don't think she's really his friend. Friends don't act that way.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2014):
 If he doesn't feel a HUGE need to have her in his life, I would not encourage it. Some women don't give a fly's fart about other people's marriage. And if she was as disrespectful before you married I seriously doubt she will change.
I would instead encourage him to make NEW friends.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (5 November 2014):
I'd say let sleeping dogs lie. If your husband could do with making new friends, why not suggest he join a class or take up a hobby? Or ecen you could both do it together? It would be good for your relationship and you could have new experiences together while meeting new people.
It sounds like you both got a jealous toxic person out of your lives after much effort and struggle. You will have the same problems again if this woman is back in contact with your husband. You are a very considerate and selfless to think about doing this, but really there are better ways for your husband to have friends. Best wishes
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2014): No, she caused issues and now there boundaries that are respected. Leave it as it is, go out, start hobbies and together form new friendships and acquaintances. Why invite her back in his life? He isn't even that fussed so just keep doing what you're doing and be happy together x
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