A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So went on a date with a nice girl. We went out siteseeing for the most part of a day (2nd date) for about 7 hours.We spent a nice time talking, but there were a lot of silences. Is there a problem do you think? I guess you can't expect to talk the whole time.Things were nice, but nothing too exciting - ie just felt like general chit chat, didn't really seem to have too much rapport you could say. But I guess for a day out you can't expect to talking continuously or you'd just get tired...? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): It depends on the girl. She could just be a little shy. She could be getting to know you. She could be a bit guarded and might not want to talk too much in case she says the wrong thing or makes a bad impression. Maybe she is the type that takes a bit to warm up to someone new. Or she does not want to tell you her life story by the second date. She did agree to go out with you on a second date. That is a good sign.You just went on two dates and it was site seeing. How about you see where it goes by asking her out for a more intimate date, like dinner? You won't be out all day. It will be a few hours or so. Maybe this type of setting will allow her to open up more. Feel more relaxed.Ask her questions. About herself. Her background. Show interest in her as a person. What she likes to do. Engage her in conversation. Talk about different subjects. See if she opens up more. Everybody likes to talk about themselves. Try to look for things you both have in common and talk about those things. Try to make things fun and light hearted. Maybe she is nervous or feels pressure. Just enjoy each other's company without any pressure. As friends. This is the best way to start a relationship. And girls love to laugh. Try to make her laugh. Point out funny things. Tell her a funny story. It is amazing how people open up with humour. Compliment her. Bring her flowers on your next date. Was there a lot of chemistry? That spark of attraction? Sometimes it takes awhile to develop as you get to know someone better. And sometimes it is there from the get go. If you find her attractive and you think she finds you attractive and you have enough in common, maybe you want to try another setting and see what happens. If you go out a few more times and still no conversation and she still does not open up, maybe you can ask her if she is interested in going further or getting to know you better. There is nothing wrong with being up front.If you feel there is enough of a spark and interest on your part at least, ask her for dinner next time. See what she says. I am sure in this setting she will open up more. Just follow some of my tips and you should be fine. And if she doesn't open up, maybe this is not the type of girl you will find a spark with. It seems to me you are very open and talkative but she might not be as open.But bear in mind when I met my husband he hardly said a word to me on our first few dates! And he spilled chicken wings all over his pants! Lol Getting him to talk was like pulling out teeth! He said nothing and looked so nervous! I honestly thought he did not like me! I was running out of stuff to say to him because he was so shy and hardly answered back. But I later learned that his silence was because he really liked me and was so shy around me. Eventually he started to open up to me and talk more as he felt more comfortable with out relationship. And there were times I wish he hardly said a word like before! Lol So maybe she could just really like you and be shy.But hard to tell after only two dates. As I suggested, a dinner date should give you more of something to go on...Hope I have helped. Have fun! :)
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